The Best Thing that ever happened to me

Meeting Jesus. Without you, I will still be down in the dumps. No where to go, directionless, hopeless and helpless. Because of you I can see the good things in this life in any circumstance. You provide me with everything I need and I am learning to trust You more and more everyday.
I just want to shout at the top of lungs in my little tatami mat room, "I LOVE YOU!"

Defying All Logic-Love

There are somethings that really puzzle the annoyance out of me. Especially when it comes to something that I should be in control of. Myself. Can we control what we like or even who we like?? Somethings just defy. Like why God loves us so much?? There's no good explanation for that huh. Ever wondered if God ever gets annoyed with Himself for loving us? Especially when most of time we upset him and make Him angry. Maybe I will never figure out why. But one thing for sure, it helped me understand how deep and illogical and CRAZY unbelievable God's love is. Maybe He put this in my heart to understand, what love is truly about. Not about how nice someone is or how loveable someone is. Anyways, because He loved me and showed me what love is about, I can love people in the right way now. I thought I loved people alot, but actually.. I didn't. Maybe I just loved them because they loved me. Because when something unpleasant happened.. I found myself hating. But, now. It doesn't really matter if people return my love. Because I am loved by Him. And there will be people He put in my life to remind me of how much He loves me. I don't have to be loved by everyone. But, most importantly, I need to love people. It's this unreasonable desire to share this goodness that God has given this illogically to me. His heart. If God isn't bothered about why he loves us. Then, I don't have to be this bothered about why I am loving the people who rejected me.

Living waters

I wonder who still visits this blog? *blows off virtual dust*
Still enjoying blogging over here, I guess only few will see this anyway.
As I dived into the depths of God's thick instructions for life, I wondered what IS living water?
And what does it mean to exchange my needs for this living water?
Well. Urm. Living water flows lor, unlike stagnant stale waters.
Exchanging pool of stagnant water for fresh flowing springs, good deal!

So what is living water? It means a new life for me. Looking beyond my past and what people have labeled me to be. It means hope, God's wonderful plan. Never ending boundless love, always refilled, refreshed. Never thirsting for love.

Stagnant Waters. Yucks. My old hurts, my old thoughts. My unmet needs. Mostly to do with acceptance and love. Unmet. And why is it so difficult to switch with such a good deal?
Because. I am too tied up in the lies I told myself. I have to pick them out one-by-one.

It's nice to be home.

I can't remember when was the last time I just rested at home on a weekend or holiday. This is nice. ^_^ New Year was spent at my dormkeeper's place, the rest of the new year holidays out shopping or in the lab. It's great to be home!!! And in less than 2 month's I'll be back in Singapore :D Looking forward to meeting people and yet, I know I will miss what's in Japan.

Genesis 2:
2-4 By the seventh day
God had finished his work.
On the seventh day
he rested from all his work.
God blessed the seventh day.
He made it a Holy Day
Because on that day he rested from his work,
all the creating God had done.

This is the story of how it all started,
of Heaven and Earth when they were created.

Something nice

キマグレン - LIFE
by once_again

5 minutes of fire.

So, I've been asked to preach for 5 minutes the very next after I return from Tokyo. So I am a wee bit irresponsible and a wee bit lazy. I have so many thoughts flooding my mind. But, today. today. I feel slightly deflated. I keep thinking that this is about me, but it is NOT!!!!!! This is not about me. Praying to God and hearing His reply from His words always pick me up, but I want to see things happen dear God. Just show me that you are here in 3D reality. Help me to remember who You are and what You do. Sometimes, I am so afraid of failing you God, but I should always remember that You are graceful and failing is part of this walk. I may keep failing, but it is going to be OK. Because at the end of the road, You are there to work Your miracles. Thank You for not giving up on this lazy bum. I am less lazy now.

You pick me up when I fall to pieces.
There's no one like You.
You are the super glue that fixes the brokeness
My bestfriend whom I never tire talking to
You guide me with Your firm hand,
You love me so much that you gave everything away
Everything that You held so dearly to You.
Your only son, your throne, your glory.
No one can love me like You do,
no one knows me like You do.
You see all my imperfections and love me anyway.
How can I ever turn my back on You and say You never
existed? And these imperfections, you turn into something beautiful.
And now I am waiting, change seems hard, but like how You provided in the past
I know You'll do it again.

What went wrong??

Looking back in perspective, (oh how i hate looking back!!!) I still can't understand how things went so wrong. Did I do something unforgivable? Perhaps. In all truth, I felt that I couldn't be myself. And the worse was that, I was obsessed till it was unhealthy. The thoughts kept me awake at night. But, I thank God that I am finally free. Today's sermon made look back and want to move on. And God in all His mercy and grace is going to give me a chance again, I pray won't screw things up. I guess everything is really premature though, all I hear is a whispered promise from God.