Counting the days to absolute freedom!!

I have finally tasted Royce chocolate coated potato chips and finished the entire box with a few other people. (Almost didn't want to share with anyone. Ha)
Exams are coming and somehow I am numbed to it. Yes, I feel the urgency to study, but somehow I'm not panicking as usual. I'm cool dude. Being cool about exams is a strange reaction from me. I guess I'm more obsessesed with how to remember all the info and answer the questions. I suppose now I can tell you all about malaria and tuberculosis now. Malaria is spreaded by FEMALE Anopheles mosquito and you can get infected with tuberculosis without showing any symptoms until the day you die. HAHAHAHA...... I can even tell you stuff at the molecular level. But let's not discuss anymore before I drive you poor readers nuts.
Had my 1st French oral. I sounded like... J'aime---beaucoup--- la natation--- I practically spoke word by word, no intonation whatsoever. The examiner seemed pretty pleased with us though... ... She kept going, "Tres bien!" Alor, it's a good thing after all. Je ne suis pas libre, parce que j'ai etudie pour les examens. My French is Fried. (Sorry abt the lame pun, I couldn't resist.)
Hope to go on a short getaway. Somewhere idle.. With lotsa sand, salt water and breezy coconut trees. I should just go to sleep now.

Time doesn't wait.

So little time, so many chapters... I wonder if it's humanly possible to cram everything within 2 weeks or less... ... Make that 1 and a half thick textbooks and piles of paper. If only my brain worked like my stomach. Then I'll probably get diarrhoea.
Weekend was pretty good, caught a movie, had high tea and went out to study with Wy.I really love eating wee tiny cakes!! They look so cute :D Kind of regret not taking photos of them. Had fun studying with Wy, I love her camera phone!! The pictures are so much sharper and of course make us look much better. Haha.









Sleeping at Bk?? Check out the messy hair.











Me and Wy. Stuff we do when we get bored of studying. Looking gd :)














One word: toothy.
Kind of tired today. Insufficient sleep. My fault.
Met up with Jas and Jun on Friday for steamboat. I was glad that we still could have such a good time going out despite being so dislocated from each others lives. I really enjoyed cooking squid for my "mums". Hahaha. Remembered what Yl said about friends. It's wonderful that we still can meet up, but when we don't due to circumstances will the friendship just die? I suppose it depends. Depends on the circumstance and how we feel towards each other. In the case of Jas, I will always remember her as one of my greatest pals and her sense of sarcastic humour that never fails to throw me into laughing fits. Hope we really will go kayaking after my exams.
To be friends, both must agree to being friends.

Happy Birthday to me!!

Turned 20 yesterday and I would like to thank all my dearests for wishing me, "Happy Birthday!"

Day 1 of feasting
Met Na and Teng on Monday and we ate at Lemongrass, after which we walked around awhile for the food to go down.

Day 2 of feasting
Had a sumptious lunch in school with Wy, mixed grill.
Ate at NYDC with Yingz. Was bloated at the end of dinner.A surprise was planned at the end of dinner. I am so blur!!! (Or greedy?) I was too busy admiring the cakes at secret recipe to notice Karen behind me and OCX hiding behind his backpack!!! Hahaha... They treated me to delicious chocolate cakes and finished it with everyone's help.*Yum!*

Day3 of festing (The day itself)
Lost count of the happy birthdays sung in one day :p
Went to Fish & Co with corrinne, charlene, candice and jac. 2 seafod platters for 2 almost killed all of us.

This is one birthday whereby I've eaten the most!!! And I've still got more to eat today and tomorrow... Not to mention that I'll be pretty broke by next week. Well, once a year! I don't get to feast like that all the time. Food is one of the greatest joys on Earth :p

Because I am your friend...

I try to listen to every word you say
Stand by your side even in the pouring rain
Know you like the back of my hand
We shared our joy and pain

Every year, I know you better
Sometimes marveling at the change
Made some mistakes
Argued a little
But I know at the end of the day,
my cares for you will remain

Wondered sometimes
if anyone felt the same.
You were there
before I even called for help
You knew me so well.

When I lost hope, You were there.

Whee! The past few days have passed like the whirlwind. Things have been happening, some not so pleasant ones like losing my stuff due to my scatterbrains. But almost all of the not so plesant things pale in comparison to.... the reply the exchange programmme office gave me. They finally replied, when I've lost all hope (as you can see from my previous entries), to say that my school recommended me to go to.... .....












Georgia Tech in Atlanta!!!!!!!!!!
He gave me more than I expected. Here's a virtual tour of the campus and you'll know what I mean when I feel so blessed... http://www.gatech.edu/vtour
I didn't know anything about this place before I went to the website and it wasn't my 1st choice, but this place is just as awesome! Thank you sooo much God!!!!! And the dear people who were there to listen to me grumble.. Now, you'll hear less grumbling. Hahahahaha..

It's time.

Schoolwork has been getting increasingly tougher. French is becoming an unmanageable mess... Qu'est-ce que tu faire Dawn?? Help... Wonder if the examiner will laugh to death when he/she hears me speak? It's confirmed that we'll have oral and a test. It's unfair that the previous batch who took French didn't have so many tests!!Many projects and readings to complete too. ARgh. All the tests will be on my day. Wonderful! Whee! I'll probably do well since it's my birthday. (What kind of skewed logic is that?!)

Sorry ma cherie (if you read this). I am not selected for the exchange programme. :'( I am not informed about anything. I'll try again next semester and this time I'll be SERIOUS.

There's no school this Friday!! Yea yea yea!!! I wanna go watch corpse bride. Fine, I like morbid looking animations. In general, I like animations. Big (old?) kid at heart.

Go Dawn go! You need to start mugging. Dean's list? (Yea right. It's for egg-heads with straight As and I'm not eggy enough, like my friends.) Muahahaha.
Darn. Micheal Buble's concert was yesterday... And I didn't get to go again. I'm too poor to buy the tickets. (nothing new) I'll happy even to get seats right at the back. I feel like the Little Match girl? No. Cinderella? No. Know any other fairytale that characters live in poverty? Doesn't matter, I'll never belong in a fairytale. Nondescript.

Premature Bday Celebrations

Shirley and Me

The night falls. Pops caught this funny looking shot.

Feels weird that I celebrated my birthday today. The big day is still 11 days away I think. And if I'm not wrong I'll have 2 tests on that day. What a wonderful birthday. *sarcasm* Enjoyed eating at Al Dente Trattoria, pop's treat. The meal really burnt a big hole in his wallet :p The steak was Mmmm delicious really tender caused you cooked it yourself on the hot stone. Really fresh steak, not like the kind whereby you fight with until it flies onto another person's plate.

Blogspot down.

I'm blogging from photobucket. Somehow, blogspot doesn't open properly and I can't type anything since there's no box. Ah well, went for cell lunch at Carl's junior today. SUper Huge servings. I'm glad that I shared with Sharon because to finish a meal all by yourself is a feat. Still, the rest of my wonderful cell peeps managed! Haha. Drinks are refillable... Makes me full to think about it. Celebrated Matz and Joel's birthday, albeit there was some confusion. I am really sorry that I couldn't get Matz' present in time... ... :(

Catch phrase of the day: Crippled prawn. (Lame sia) *Doinks* I didn't come up with this. Believe me.

Went shopping yesterday, allowing retail therapy to do its wonders. It feels so good to be able to go shopping for once. To have the money and afford to buy the things you want. :D

Haven't been in the state of mind to type long entries.. Hope this entry is enough.

 

Take a break. Pay attention to God.

I can hear a mother screaming at her child from the next block. She's loud! Or maybe I have good hearing. It's irritating... Pity, even the radio can't drown out her voice. I suppose this is happening in my mind too. I keep tuning into thoughts that I want to drown out. I have many many many things to do, many many many people to talk to, but all I can think about is what I refuse to think about. Somethings that I heard got stuck in my brain and I don't know how to get them out. I doubt I can get them out by myself.
Have to remember that only one thing matters. G-O-D.
I thank god that I have other things to keep me busy, I cannot imagine what will happen if I'm left to my own devices. Drowning myself in work again. Escapism?

Normalcy

We have just finished the 6th CLEAR session. I have just been notified by our camp IC this year, Dan, that I'll be one of the group leaders this year along with Gail and Cyrus. I really don't know if I'm up to this. Ah hahaha.... And I know before I know it I'll be at camp doing the unthinkable. I'm both excited and scared. Excited because it's going to be different! Perhaps more scared than excited though. Some of the fears that I have are... I can't relate to the younger ones, I have never been a group leader nor assistant group leader in a camp before. I feel that camp leaders need to be spontaneous and currently I don't feel very spontaneous... Due to some personal stuff. Hope that the dark clouds would have blown over by then. If not.. Hai. Life goes on and I'll still have to do my job as a group leader.
As for CLEAR... I still can't really see myself as true blue, full fledged cell leader. Then again God works in mysterious ways. I'm sure He'll provide me with the experience, maturity and other misc skills that I'll need to cope with being a cell leader.
Been a good girl. Doing very little work at home. Currently, I have to play "musical chairs" for this project. I have to pick a paper on a first come first serve basis and I have to pick the right paper. Better still, I can't change my mind after submitting my choice. Hope no one will pick the paper that I'm going to pick. Stress ah! If only the prof will let us do the same paper, then it won't be so stressful... And because everyone is doing a different paper, we can't discuss!!! This is such a tragedy. *Rolls eyes*

Overflowing

Frustrated with myself. Felt that I wasn't putting in my best for today's paper. My mind wasn't there. But, after handing up the paper, I regretted that I allowed myself to be distracted. It jolted me out of my thoughts. I need to put my heart back into my school work. My heart hasn't really been in it eversince the beginning of the semester. All I think about is the holidays... ... Anyway, it's over. I don't have the energy to mope over it.
Sometimes I feel limited or get drained very easily. Some people are able to stay cheery most of the time, why can't I be like that?? To me, I feel that there's no point in pretending to be happy when I'm not. But, I know I want to walk with a bounce in my step, being contented with I have. I just know that I have to trust God for that and change my attitude towards situations. Frankly, I feel tired of being mopey and looking as if the world owes me something. No matter what happens, I will recover from it and find my joy in God. Because He never fails.

MAF.. What moon?

Went to celebrate MAF at Lydia's place yesterday with SETT people. I was clueless that we were going to her place to celebrate, last minute surprise. Lydia was really kind to provide us with umlimited food and drinks. There was too much food that snacks we brought there were unopened. Really love the baked cuttlefish strips!! Yummy. Then we went to the nearby playground and razed it to the ground. Nah. Hogwash. We merely dripped wax all over it and waxed some leaves and insects. MAF seems to bring out a sadistic nature in all of us. Burn baby burn! Didn't really get to see any moon though. Loved the lantern my group made. Jon can really come up with gd storylines to explain the theme of our lantern. I am impressed. Haha.

Taking my mind off a few matters... Irritated with myself. 连我也觉得自己好烦。

Waiting.

I'm waiting for answers. I keep asking questions. Helplessness.

My one week break's ending. Not looking forward to going back to school... ... *Deep breaths*

Be with me.

Went out the entire day today, haven't been very productive since Saturday. Have to start getting off my butt and DO something!
Went to Kbox with Wy, had mucho fun. Discovered that I have a talent for singing Chinese opera. Haha. We kept singing yuan dian until we could get it right, meaning not going too off-key and singing in time with the music. Haha. Finally got it right after the 5th time? Hahaha. Haven't sang like this for a long time. Then we tried to get some work done, but ended up yakking and catching up as we haven't met for a very very long time. Since someone is busy dating. :p And somehow, when I'm free she isn't and when she isn't I am. So there, we finally met up.
Met my uni family to celebrate Candice's birthday. Watched Be with me.

It's much better than I expected it to be. It talks about love and loss. I really admire Theresa, the protagonist in the movie and also in reality for her courage and trust in God. Imagine being shut away from the world around you. Can't see nor hear. Living alone. Losing the chance to have someone who loves you because he passes away.
Then there's also the Fat Man. Your uneducated kind soul who just wants to express his feelings for the woman of his dreams. Though I really think he was scary stalking her like that, he seems happy and watching her from a distance. The only time you see him losing his temper is when he fails to express himself because he cannot find the words. And the stuff he binges on... Makes me want to swear off stewed pork for now. I get the vibe that the scriptwriter feels that it would be kinder to end Fat man's life.
Sam and Jackie. The lesbian couple. Betrayal, loss and suicide. Got to be cruel sometimes to be kind? It is painful to see how people can let you down in the worse way.
Lastly, the father who struggles to get out of depression after the death of his wife and he finds a model in Theresa.

Anyway back to me. I wish things could be simpler or that I would stop complicating things for myself. I don't know if I am right or wrong. I don't want to become bitter.

Emotionally drained

For once I'm feeling deflated.
Like a sad balloon. Burnt out. Don't even feel angry.
Hurt. Confused. Broken. But I have to face the world.

One week break.

It's nothing new that I've been busy for the whole of last week. Completing reports, assignments, tutorials and giving tuition. I am too exhausted to blog! Anyway, the coming week of break is only good for catching up with my readings and studying for the test I have on the 1st day of school. Which I promise to finish. Haven't been studying much for the past 2 weeks. Hope my grades will not suffer. Sleep hasn't been wonderful either, find myself being unable to sleep for more than 8 hours... ... Terrible.
Had a false alarm that GIP results were out, because so far I've only heard the mass comm people getting accepted. Emailed the office to make sure that they hadn't forgotten about my application and lo and behold they said the results will be out next week. I really really really realllllllllllly hope I can go. A few personal reasons and the main reason being that I really want to see what kind of research they get up to in the labs of washington uni. Definitely on a much larger scale than what they have in NTU.
Feel sorry for kids who have started mugging at such a tender age...Due to parents who keep forcing their children to go for additional tuition classes. Seriously think that children should be allowed to take a break, instead of studying everyday for the hols. It's not healthy and doesn't really aid in absorption when their minds are elsewhere.
Took a break yesterday, met Germ to watch The Maid, ate gelato at venezia and went to this super sleazy pub, lounge? We didn't do much, just shared a glass of red wine. Still wondering how come we ended up there... ... I know the last place visited sounds very O-U-T.

I'm back, but for how long??

Haven't been blogging, haven't been on msn. Eversince my last entry I've only been coming on-line to download my notes, homework or do research on that $%$%*&*!! stem cell paper. Had a test today and I left the lecture theatre feeling really stupid. I could answer the questions. I KNOW how to do the questions and I lost 17 marks. Why? Because I couldn't keep my cool. I started panicking because I kept looking at the time. I hate myself. Feel like a big dumb dumb. Hope I still can pass, this test has 15% weightage...
Been waking up super early for the week due to some changes in the timetable. I can actually wake up automatically with out the help of the alarm clock now, an obvious sign of stress. I must remain sane, I must keep my cool. *chants*
It's Teacher's day today, didn't get to go back anywhere because of a full day in school. Taking a break from studying and doing work, haven't exactly been relaxing. Maybe the most relaxing thing I did thus far was to go to California Fitness Club to exercise. Free membership for 1 month! Whee. All thanks to Sheena. They have free lessons street jazz dancing, yoga, etc.. And not forgetting the sauna and spa. Must go there before my pass expires. Felt like a mountain tortoise there, we were ooh and aahing over the facilities or maybe it was just me :p Schwinn cycling next time! It burns 300 calories in 30 minutes.
Caught a movie last Sunday too. It's probably the most violent and profane "art film" I ever watched: Perth. Mere words cannot describe how disturbed I am after watching the show. It was the first time I ever watched a man pummel a woman. Usually the farthest extent would be slaps and shoves, but really pummeling the woman? What kind of "man" is that? Realised that I am pretty numbed to violence, maybe it's because of all the bloody arcade and computer games I've played. House of the dead, etc... Not forgetting that blood and gore doesn't faze me. Closet sadist.
Hanging in there till the 1 week break comes in 2 weeks' time. Feeling sore about my stupidity :'(

Bring it on!!!

I am officially buried under the amount of work I have. I don't know where to start!! Currently, I am slacking off from my tutorial to blog. Haha. This semester's work is becoming so alien. Not helping that I took French. Anyway, just finished French dictation today. They were all short questions. Eg: Tu connais un homme politique? Oui, je connais LKY.
Dawn est jolie! Oui? Haha. Just agree with that sentence. :p Feel so thick skinned.
Trying hard to balance my time, when I feel stressed all I feel like doing is anything but work or work related. I am so sick of looking at cells and receptors on them. Like I care. *plbbt* Unfortunately, we all know that it is not true. I truly care about our darling cells that coexist together to give us a wonderful, functional body. Sigh...
I think I should stop slacking and go back to staring at the notes and killing more of my brain cells to answer the tute questions. I tried so hard and got so far, nothing matters anymore. HAHAHAHA.

God's will.

Is a pretty distressing subject to me. Why? I'm not sure if what I heard is really God's voice or my background noise of my desires covering His voice. Lately, it has been quite clear that I should wait upon the Lord and have faith that His will works for the good for those who love Him. There so many issues around me and in my life that require so much trust in God that He will set everything right. Life seems so unfair.
There also things that I need to be honest about and set things right once and for all. No matter how painful it maybe to settle it. I have to learn to love unselfishly. Though it may make me unhappy, it will make someone else happier. I want to bring joy into people's lives, but many times I find myself hindered by my fears. Fear of not being the kind of person they want to interact with, fear of being rejected and many more... My fears are so irrelevant, but they real too.
Today is Ruffy's bath day (my dog) and I'm on duty. Sigh... Hate bathing that doggie of mine.. Wet dogs are best not provoked.

Swollen and painful.

Seen the doctor on Sunday evening, supposed to be fine by now, but no. Apparently, I have some allergy to the antiboitics. Took 3 days for it to take effect--Swollen and painful lips. Just feel like tearing my entire mouth and throat out if it stops the pain. Had 6 solid hours of French tutorials this week, but I still can't really speak to save myself. Haha.
Speaking of which, I went for my interview today. I felt it was bad... I thought I was prepared, but they asked me questions that caught me off my guard.
Prof T (he's french) : Why should the university give you a loan to go?
Me: (Thinks abit) It will be an enriching experience, let me have a more well-rounded education and allow me more insight to the university's 5 Nobel prize laureates.
AHHH... Sound so lame... That more or less sums up the entire interview. Experience how lessons are taught overseas and to see what they have establish over there that makes them so famous... Doinks. Major decrease in self-confidence. Must have confidence in God.
I should've impressed Prof T with my lousy French. Nah, I think he'll be more depressed than impressed after hearing me say, " Je parle francaise ample."
Don't want to think, don't want to think. Thoughts running amok.