More stamina please.

Started attachment in school today, really happy to see familiar faces in the lab. Wanted to wake up earlier to eat breakfast in school at Mc's today, but I couldn't wake up due to my screwed bio clock. Been sleeping on the average at 3am everyday for the past week and was expected to sleep at 12 plus and wake up at 8.30am today, which is an impossible feat!! So at least I managed to reach school on time. First thing the prof said when we reached his lab was," Do you want to see your results?" And stacks of our exam papers were piled up on his desk. Very nice way of welcoming us to the lab. Haha. So.. Yep. I knew my results for my worst paper. I PASSED!!! Hope I can get a B. I expected to fail. Because I made so many mistakes. Apparently, I didn't fail the section that I expected to fail. Thank God :) Prof Y was very nice too. He taught us a few things today, thought he would just leave us without much guidance. Some profs don't guide you much and you wonder at the end of the day if you learnt anything at all. Hope that by the end of this stint in the lab, I'll be more familiar with preparing stuff.
Met Mummy at Causeway Pt. Ended up buying more stuff than I wanted. Instead of buying just shorts, ended up buying other stuff also... And I'm glad I ate enough for dinner. Coz... We bumped into my Mum's friend who has a 3 yr old little girl. She sure can run!!! Ended up chasing after her and I got NO stamina. After half an hour of playing.. I was telling her, "Jie Jie is tired cannot chase you liao."Hahahaha. Then she didn't want to let me go home. Then after I left, she was shouting at the top of her lungs, " Bye bye!!!" Little monster. Hee. But a very cute one!!! I like playing with kids.. But, realised that I probably don't have enough energy to play like one and don't have much chance to. I'm shy!! Haha.

Liberty.

Exams are FINALLY over. However.. The last paper was also my worst paper... ... Was quite disappointed that I filled in the blanks wrongly. Felt like kicking myself after checking through the notes. I really hope I can pass. Maybe a C. That's the worst I have ever done so far. :'( I blame my poor memory. Need to find more methods to improve memory!!! I WILL trust God no matter what.
Cheryl's back!!! Yay!!!It's time to start living for the hols. Phuket trip, birthday celebrations, christmas celebrations, tuition to give, books to read, friends to hang out with and exercise to do. Weeell, met Cheryl for a sumptious Jap dinner yesterday. Yummy! One of the best Jap meals I ever had.


Yup, really had a jolly good time stuffing ourselves with authentic Jap food (and not Sakae Sushi) for once. Annnnd finally, after 4 months, we can talk face to face. Felt it was some kind of surreal. Hahaha.
Have to save up for the trip... No more splurging. Ack. Sigh. Walked around Orchard and Cheryl did both of our share of shopping, so didn't need to buy anything at all :p Nah. I am really trying to save up so we can do more things over there.
Met up with Lenggity for waffles!! Yea, really missed Gelare waffles haven't eaten them for... Only God knows how long. Still... They were overpriced even when they're half-priced today. Waffletown sells nice and cheaper waffles, but not great ice cream. It's infuriating to suggest activities to a near pauper. I know. I don't like it either that I have to turn down ideas because I don't have the moolah to do them. But... I am a pauper. Sigh. 没有钱也有没有钱的玩法。Went to her place and collected my souvenir from Taiwan! Wahahaha. New bag. *Wide Grin* Then.... LEnggity designed a new blog interface for me! Hahaha. Thank you so much cuzzie!!! You know I'm hopeless with JAva and HTML. I'm just a Bioscigeek. *Wider grinz*
Borrowed some books from the lib can't wait to read them. And.... bought purple hair dye. Haven't dyed my hair yet... but... well...

Thank you God!!!

Been too lax with the exams this semester... Only started studying for my paper today at 7pm yesterday :p Yup, that's how unmotivated I am. Or maybe it's because I really cannot stand studying for microbiology. Hate memorising the names of the bacteria, I like reading it and somehow I can remember the discoveries and techniques just not the names of the bacteria and not to the T. Never liked memorising things word-for-word, I like to improvise!! But, sometimes I get the meaning wrong and therefore the answer is wrong! Sigh. I really thank God for pulling all of us through. Could answer the questions that came out and won't fail. But as for an A, it's really all up to God... Of course I hope to get As. I did say I'm leading a pretty well-balanced life. Played tennis on Monday, watched Just Like Heaven on Tuesday and STUDIED on Wednesday evening. Hai, terrible. Will not repeat this for the last paper.
Can't wait to watch Harry Potter next week!! Whee! Finally. I LOVE Draco Malfoy. Hee..

Les Examens

Je dois rappeler Il est meme hier, aujord' hui et demain. J'ai examen francaise demain, besoin du paix de Dieu.

Fragile

Whatever I am going to post is just a random rambling produced by my overheated brain.
The world is full of lonely people and I admit that I am often part of this crowd. Can't be surrounded by people 24/7 and even if it were so, being in a crowd can be lonely too. So what do we do to keep these shadowy feelings at bay? We occupy ourselves with work, the companionship of other people, etc... But, somehow in some twisted way, we still feel lonely. I'm not saying that work and relationships are unimportant, but can they alone make the emptiness go away??
Tried burying myself in work to assuage these feelings and given no work to do, I'll probably get a mental breakdown. Then again, when I have work I procrastinate. (Which gives you a good idea of this crappy entry.) Studying for exams can be the most hermitical thing you can do. People are forced to isolate themselves, unless they can resist the temptation of chatting and get down to the serious business of studying. Can't go shopping, can't go watch movies, can't go do anything. I suppose this semester I've been less hermitical during this period of revision. Perhaps just more lazy.
At this moment, I don't feel that empty. I don't know if it's because there are many lonely people out there or because I know Someone loves me for being me. Sometimes, it gets a little confusing.
It's the exams and all my friends are busy mugging, most of them are not the type who can study in groups. So, that really puts a crimp on my social life. I could go back to school and look for my friends, but somehow I am too lazy to move my butt to Boon Lay. It is ridiculously far.... ... Companionship or no companionship, I can't make myself go all the way there.
Books for company and notes to talk to.

Counting the days to absolute freedom!!

I have finally tasted Royce chocolate coated potato chips and finished the entire box with a few other people. (Almost didn't want to share with anyone. Ha)
Exams are coming and somehow I am numbed to it. Yes, I feel the urgency to study, but somehow I'm not panicking as usual. I'm cool dude. Being cool about exams is a strange reaction from me. I guess I'm more obsessesed with how to remember all the info and answer the questions. I suppose now I can tell you all about malaria and tuberculosis now. Malaria is spreaded by FEMALE Anopheles mosquito and you can get infected with tuberculosis without showing any symptoms until the day you die. HAHAHAHA...... I can even tell you stuff at the molecular level. But let's not discuss anymore before I drive you poor readers nuts.
Had my 1st French oral. I sounded like... J'aime---beaucoup--- la natation--- I practically spoke word by word, no intonation whatsoever. The examiner seemed pretty pleased with us though... ... She kept going, "Tres bien!" Alor, it's a good thing after all. Je ne suis pas libre, parce que j'ai etudie pour les examens. My French is Fried. (Sorry abt the lame pun, I couldn't resist.)
Hope to go on a short getaway. Somewhere idle.. With lotsa sand, salt water and breezy coconut trees. I should just go to sleep now.

Time doesn't wait.

So little time, so many chapters... I wonder if it's humanly possible to cram everything within 2 weeks or less... ... Make that 1 and a half thick textbooks and piles of paper. If only my brain worked like my stomach. Then I'll probably get diarrhoea.
Weekend was pretty good, caught a movie, had high tea and went out to study with Wy.I really love eating wee tiny cakes!! They look so cute :D Kind of regret not taking photos of them. Had fun studying with Wy, I love her camera phone!! The pictures are so much sharper and of course make us look much better. Haha.









Sleeping at Bk?? Check out the messy hair.











Me and Wy. Stuff we do when we get bored of studying. Looking gd :)














One word: toothy.
Kind of tired today. Insufficient sleep. My fault.
Met up with Jas and Jun on Friday for steamboat. I was glad that we still could have such a good time going out despite being so dislocated from each others lives. I really enjoyed cooking squid for my "mums". Hahaha. Remembered what Yl said about friends. It's wonderful that we still can meet up, but when we don't due to circumstances will the friendship just die? I suppose it depends. Depends on the circumstance and how we feel towards each other. In the case of Jas, I will always remember her as one of my greatest pals and her sense of sarcastic humour that never fails to throw me into laughing fits. Hope we really will go kayaking after my exams.
To be friends, both must agree to being friends.

Happy Birthday to me!!

Turned 20 yesterday and I would like to thank all my dearests for wishing me, "Happy Birthday!"

Day 1 of feasting
Met Na and Teng on Monday and we ate at Lemongrass, after which we walked around awhile for the food to go down.

Day 2 of feasting
Had a sumptious lunch in school with Wy, mixed grill.
Ate at NYDC with Yingz. Was bloated at the end of dinner.A surprise was planned at the end of dinner. I am so blur!!! (Or greedy?) I was too busy admiring the cakes at secret recipe to notice Karen behind me and OCX hiding behind his backpack!!! Hahaha... They treated me to delicious chocolate cakes and finished it with everyone's help.*Yum!*

Day3 of festing (The day itself)
Lost count of the happy birthdays sung in one day :p
Went to Fish & Co with corrinne, charlene, candice and jac. 2 seafod platters for 2 almost killed all of us.

This is one birthday whereby I've eaten the most!!! And I've still got more to eat today and tomorrow... Not to mention that I'll be pretty broke by next week. Well, once a year! I don't get to feast like that all the time. Food is one of the greatest joys on Earth :p

Because I am your friend...

I try to listen to every word you say
Stand by your side even in the pouring rain
Know you like the back of my hand
We shared our joy and pain

Every year, I know you better
Sometimes marveling at the change
Made some mistakes
Argued a little
But I know at the end of the day,
my cares for you will remain

Wondered sometimes
if anyone felt the same.
You were there
before I even called for help
You knew me so well.

When I lost hope, You were there.

Whee! The past few days have passed like the whirlwind. Things have been happening, some not so pleasant ones like losing my stuff due to my scatterbrains. But almost all of the not so plesant things pale in comparison to.... the reply the exchange programmme office gave me. They finally replied, when I've lost all hope (as you can see from my previous entries), to say that my school recommended me to go to.... .....












Georgia Tech in Atlanta!!!!!!!!!!
He gave me more than I expected. Here's a virtual tour of the campus and you'll know what I mean when I feel so blessed... http://www.gatech.edu/vtour
I didn't know anything about this place before I went to the website and it wasn't my 1st choice, but this place is just as awesome! Thank you sooo much God!!!!! And the dear people who were there to listen to me grumble.. Now, you'll hear less grumbling. Hahahahaha..

It's time.

Schoolwork has been getting increasingly tougher. French is becoming an unmanageable mess... Qu'est-ce que tu faire Dawn?? Help... Wonder if the examiner will laugh to death when he/she hears me speak? It's confirmed that we'll have oral and a test. It's unfair that the previous batch who took French didn't have so many tests!!Many projects and readings to complete too. ARgh. All the tests will be on my day. Wonderful! Whee! I'll probably do well since it's my birthday. (What kind of skewed logic is that?!)

Sorry ma cherie (if you read this). I am not selected for the exchange programme. :'( I am not informed about anything. I'll try again next semester and this time I'll be SERIOUS.

There's no school this Friday!! Yea yea yea!!! I wanna go watch corpse bride. Fine, I like morbid looking animations. In general, I like animations. Big (old?) kid at heart.

Go Dawn go! You need to start mugging. Dean's list? (Yea right. It's for egg-heads with straight As and I'm not eggy enough, like my friends.) Muahahaha.
Darn. Micheal Buble's concert was yesterday... And I didn't get to go again. I'm too poor to buy the tickets. (nothing new) I'll happy even to get seats right at the back. I feel like the Little Match girl? No. Cinderella? No. Know any other fairytale that characters live in poverty? Doesn't matter, I'll never belong in a fairytale. Nondescript.

Premature Bday Celebrations

Shirley and Me

The night falls. Pops caught this funny looking shot.

Feels weird that I celebrated my birthday today. The big day is still 11 days away I think. And if I'm not wrong I'll have 2 tests on that day. What a wonderful birthday. *sarcasm* Enjoyed eating at Al Dente Trattoria, pop's treat. The meal really burnt a big hole in his wallet :p The steak was Mmmm delicious really tender caused you cooked it yourself on the hot stone. Really fresh steak, not like the kind whereby you fight with until it flies onto another person's plate.

Blogspot down.

I'm blogging from photobucket. Somehow, blogspot doesn't open properly and I can't type anything since there's no box. Ah well, went for cell lunch at Carl's junior today. SUper Huge servings. I'm glad that I shared with Sharon because to finish a meal all by yourself is a feat. Still, the rest of my wonderful cell peeps managed! Haha. Drinks are refillable... Makes me full to think about it. Celebrated Matz and Joel's birthday, albeit there was some confusion. I am really sorry that I couldn't get Matz' present in time... ... :(

Catch phrase of the day: Crippled prawn. (Lame sia) *Doinks* I didn't come up with this. Believe me.

Went shopping yesterday, allowing retail therapy to do its wonders. It feels so good to be able to go shopping for once. To have the money and afford to buy the things you want. :D

Haven't been in the state of mind to type long entries.. Hope this entry is enough.

 

Take a break. Pay attention to God.

I can hear a mother screaming at her child from the next block. She's loud! Or maybe I have good hearing. It's irritating... Pity, even the radio can't drown out her voice. I suppose this is happening in my mind too. I keep tuning into thoughts that I want to drown out. I have many many many things to do, many many many people to talk to, but all I can think about is what I refuse to think about. Somethings that I heard got stuck in my brain and I don't know how to get them out. I doubt I can get them out by myself.
Have to remember that only one thing matters. G-O-D.
I thank god that I have other things to keep me busy, I cannot imagine what will happen if I'm left to my own devices. Drowning myself in work again. Escapism?

Normalcy

We have just finished the 6th CLEAR session. I have just been notified by our camp IC this year, Dan, that I'll be one of the group leaders this year along with Gail and Cyrus. I really don't know if I'm up to this. Ah hahaha.... And I know before I know it I'll be at camp doing the unthinkable. I'm both excited and scared. Excited because it's going to be different! Perhaps more scared than excited though. Some of the fears that I have are... I can't relate to the younger ones, I have never been a group leader nor assistant group leader in a camp before. I feel that camp leaders need to be spontaneous and currently I don't feel very spontaneous... Due to some personal stuff. Hope that the dark clouds would have blown over by then. If not.. Hai. Life goes on and I'll still have to do my job as a group leader.
As for CLEAR... I still can't really see myself as true blue, full fledged cell leader. Then again God works in mysterious ways. I'm sure He'll provide me with the experience, maturity and other misc skills that I'll need to cope with being a cell leader.
Been a good girl. Doing very little work at home. Currently, I have to play "musical chairs" for this project. I have to pick a paper on a first come first serve basis and I have to pick the right paper. Better still, I can't change my mind after submitting my choice. Hope no one will pick the paper that I'm going to pick. Stress ah! If only the prof will let us do the same paper, then it won't be so stressful... And because everyone is doing a different paper, we can't discuss!!! This is such a tragedy. *Rolls eyes*

Overflowing

Frustrated with myself. Felt that I wasn't putting in my best for today's paper. My mind wasn't there. But, after handing up the paper, I regretted that I allowed myself to be distracted. It jolted me out of my thoughts. I need to put my heart back into my school work. My heart hasn't really been in it eversince the beginning of the semester. All I think about is the holidays... ... Anyway, it's over. I don't have the energy to mope over it.
Sometimes I feel limited or get drained very easily. Some people are able to stay cheery most of the time, why can't I be like that?? To me, I feel that there's no point in pretending to be happy when I'm not. But, I know I want to walk with a bounce in my step, being contented with I have. I just know that I have to trust God for that and change my attitude towards situations. Frankly, I feel tired of being mopey and looking as if the world owes me something. No matter what happens, I will recover from it and find my joy in God. Because He never fails.

MAF.. What moon?

Went to celebrate MAF at Lydia's place yesterday with SETT people. I was clueless that we were going to her place to celebrate, last minute surprise. Lydia was really kind to provide us with umlimited food and drinks. There was too much food that snacks we brought there were unopened. Really love the baked cuttlefish strips!! Yummy. Then we went to the nearby playground and razed it to the ground. Nah. Hogwash. We merely dripped wax all over it and waxed some leaves and insects. MAF seems to bring out a sadistic nature in all of us. Burn baby burn! Didn't really get to see any moon though. Loved the lantern my group made. Jon can really come up with gd storylines to explain the theme of our lantern. I am impressed. Haha.

Taking my mind off a few matters... Irritated with myself. 连我也觉得自己好烦。

Waiting.

I'm waiting for answers. I keep asking questions. Helplessness.

My one week break's ending. Not looking forward to going back to school... ... *Deep breaths*

Be with me.

Went out the entire day today, haven't been very productive since Saturday. Have to start getting off my butt and DO something!
Went to Kbox with Wy, had mucho fun. Discovered that I have a talent for singing Chinese opera. Haha. We kept singing yuan dian until we could get it right, meaning not going too off-key and singing in time with the music. Haha. Finally got it right after the 5th time? Hahaha. Haven't sang like this for a long time. Then we tried to get some work done, but ended up yakking and catching up as we haven't met for a very very long time. Since someone is busy dating. :p And somehow, when I'm free she isn't and when she isn't I am. So there, we finally met up.
Met my uni family to celebrate Candice's birthday. Watched Be with me.

It's much better than I expected it to be. It talks about love and loss. I really admire Theresa, the protagonist in the movie and also in reality for her courage and trust in God. Imagine being shut away from the world around you. Can't see nor hear. Living alone. Losing the chance to have someone who loves you because he passes away.
Then there's also the Fat Man. Your uneducated kind soul who just wants to express his feelings for the woman of his dreams. Though I really think he was scary stalking her like that, he seems happy and watching her from a distance. The only time you see him losing his temper is when he fails to express himself because he cannot find the words. And the stuff he binges on... Makes me want to swear off stewed pork for now. I get the vibe that the scriptwriter feels that it would be kinder to end Fat man's life.
Sam and Jackie. The lesbian couple. Betrayal, loss and suicide. Got to be cruel sometimes to be kind? It is painful to see how people can let you down in the worse way.
Lastly, the father who struggles to get out of depression after the death of his wife and he finds a model in Theresa.

Anyway back to me. I wish things could be simpler or that I would stop complicating things for myself. I don't know if I am right or wrong. I don't want to become bitter.

Emotionally drained

For once I'm feeling deflated.
Like a sad balloon. Burnt out. Don't even feel angry.
Hurt. Confused. Broken. But I have to face the world.