A time to rejoice, a time to weep.

The killings on Monday at VT has shocked the entire US. School is no longer a safe place. I can't help but wonder what goes on in the mind of Cho Seung-Hui the guy who meticulously thought out the whole killing spree and how alike I was to his victims. It's easy for me to picture the scene in my eye. A guy who suddenly walks into the classroom and showers it with bullets and the next moment your friends and probably yourself are dead. This reminds me of what life is about and what is worth living for. Definitely not grades, why would grades matter when you are dead? I couldn't remain apathetic to the killings that are happening right under my nose, maybe I would be less affected in Singapore as I cannot really identify with the scene. But, now that I am studying in US, it's easy to see how such a tragedy can happen and how traumatic it is.

Spent the week in reflection and prayer for the community in Virginia Tech and for God's mercy on the killer's soul. How misguided he was. I pray that God' glory and love will be evident in VT. What Man meant for evil, God will turn it for good. He will turn winter into spring, He will make something good out of all this suffering.


Other than that, I have been studying and working on my homework. 1 more week to the finals :S I need God's strength to pull me through all of this. I don't see how I'm going to survive without His help. Seriously.

Easter with the Shekarabis

Spent Easter over at Andrea's home. I learnt how to cook some authentic American food and got to know her family and friends. Her parents are really cool people and her Mum is really humourous. I love the Shekarabis!! Thanks for adopting me.

Pool sharks
I missed home too, reminds me of how Mum will buy hot cross buns for Gd Friday and Easter. Next year we'll bake them, won't we Mum? I wish we cooked more at home.
Missed the steak and cake today, but went for prayer meeting today. Steven, our ever gracious host, fed us with cheese dip with nacho chips and wheat choc chip cookies. I was stuffed to the brim. No wonder I'm growing horizontally. I'm starting to enjoy praying corporately :)

A big misunderstanding and ugly accusations

It is disappointing that my parents think so little of me. No thanks to dad for all the accusations and no, I won't be like Juliana because it's not like that at all. Things are not what you assume it to be. I can't force people to adhere to my travel plans. We're all splitting up into smaller groups anyway. If what I've said initially caused you both to worry, I'm really sorry.

No longer bound by law.

Something about a recent Bible study hit me really hard. We are free from the Law, as mentioned in Galatians 5. So are we free to do whatsoever we wish if we accept Christ? Not really. Why? Because I am compelled to obey the Law because I love God. Perhaps the best way to illustrate this would be me cleaning the house because my mum threatens to take away my allowance if I don't VS me cleaning the house because I love my mum. Same end result, but when I obey my mum because I love her, it'll make me feel happy and free, not bound, not forced to do something I don't want to. I am really overjoyed and relieved having this freedom, because it's no longer a chore to follow what God says. If I tried to follow God's rules, eg: Love your brother as yourself, on my own, without accepting help from the Holy Spirit, without love for God, I will feel that I'm being coerced into doing it. Perhaps, that's what I felt before. If we love God and His commands, we will not feel that we're forced to obey and be fearful of punishments if we don't do it. Instead, we will follow it joyfully and experience relief. Haven't we ever felt really disturbed, frustrated at doing something that we are forced to do? The relief I'm speaking of is being free of feeling this way.

The thought that I am free in Christ, turns any rotten day into a good one :)

No words can express my gratitude for Your love

The testimony shared by a fellow student at today's tea session in Tech struck a chord with me. How often have I tried to fill the emptiness within me with people's affections, approval and so forth? I once was obsessesed with trying to earn someone's love and it only left me broken. Now, I try to earn approval from my parents or lecturers. The amusing thing is gaining all these things won't be enough anyway. I didn't know I had put idols before God. Like Leah, I tried to earn another person's love by doing all that I thought could get me his love. I realise how wrong I have went and how unhappy it made me. In the end, I was willing to settle for something less and I did. But, I thank God that He didn't allow me to settle for less. Things didn't last and fell apart. Things wouldn't have went wrong if my eyes were on God, fell into the trap of idolising someone. Thank You for setting me free God. It's easy to fall into the trap and not realise it. Which is why I need to come back to God so frequently. It's just a fine line away from falling.