Bring it on!!!

I am officially buried under the amount of work I have. I don't know where to start!! Currently, I am slacking off from my tutorial to blog. Haha. This semester's work is becoming so alien. Not helping that I took French. Anyway, just finished French dictation today. They were all short questions. Eg: Tu connais un homme politique? Oui, je connais LKY.
Dawn est jolie! Oui? Haha. Just agree with that sentence. :p Feel so thick skinned.
Trying hard to balance my time, when I feel stressed all I feel like doing is anything but work or work related. I am so sick of looking at cells and receptors on them. Like I care. *plbbt* Unfortunately, we all know that it is not true. I truly care about our darling cells that coexist together to give us a wonderful, functional body. Sigh...
I think I should stop slacking and go back to staring at the notes and killing more of my brain cells to answer the tute questions. I tried so hard and got so far, nothing matters anymore. HAHAHAHA.

God's will.

Is a pretty distressing subject to me. Why? I'm not sure if what I heard is really God's voice or my background noise of my desires covering His voice. Lately, it has been quite clear that I should wait upon the Lord and have faith that His will works for the good for those who love Him. There so many issues around me and in my life that require so much trust in God that He will set everything right. Life seems so unfair.
There also things that I need to be honest about and set things right once and for all. No matter how painful it maybe to settle it. I have to learn to love unselfishly. Though it may make me unhappy, it will make someone else happier. I want to bring joy into people's lives, but many times I find myself hindered by my fears. Fear of not being the kind of person they want to interact with, fear of being rejected and many more... My fears are so irrelevant, but they real too.
Today is Ruffy's bath day (my dog) and I'm on duty. Sigh... Hate bathing that doggie of mine.. Wet dogs are best not provoked.

Swollen and painful.

Seen the doctor on Sunday evening, supposed to be fine by now, but no. Apparently, I have some allergy to the antiboitics. Took 3 days for it to take effect--Swollen and painful lips. Just feel like tearing my entire mouth and throat out if it stops the pain. Had 6 solid hours of French tutorials this week, but I still can't really speak to save myself. Haha.
Speaking of which, I went for my interview today. I felt it was bad... I thought I was prepared, but they asked me questions that caught me off my guard.
Prof T (he's french) : Why should the university give you a loan to go?
Me: (Thinks abit) It will be an enriching experience, let me have a more well-rounded education and allow me more insight to the university's 5 Nobel prize laureates.
AHHH... Sound so lame... That more or less sums up the entire interview. Experience how lessons are taught overseas and to see what they have establish over there that makes them so famous... Doinks. Major decrease in self-confidence. Must have confidence in God.
I should've impressed Prof T with my lousy French. Nah, I think he'll be more depressed than impressed after hearing me say, " Je parle francaise ample."
Don't want to think, don't want to think. Thoughts running amok.

Backaches and Fever

Feeling sick now.. Having fever. Having visitors over at my house now and I feel really bad that I can't talk to them. Feel like I'm burning up inside. I suppose I'll offer the little girl my sweets. :p I don't feel sleepy, but just want to rest my achy bones. I don't understand why I'm sick... ... Pray that I'll be better after a good sleep tonight. Lots to handle tomorrow.

The world is my classroom..

I am really happieee!!! * Jumps up to hug her mother* Got called up for an interview for Global Immersion Program. I hope I don't screw things up... Really hope I get to go! Applied for it since last month and the wait for them to call me up was almost unbearable. Felt like I was sitting on eggs. I chose to go to US, India, Switzerland and France (actually, that's all the countries they offered). Hopefully, I'll get to go to University of Washington, in Seattle. Clasp my hands together and pray fervently. Reason for wanting to go on exchange is to see the world out of Asia or at least experience a radically different culture. I feel that KL, Taiwan, Hong Kong is still not as unfamiliar as India, France or Switzerland. Somehow, I feel that I won't be too shocked by the people in the States. With all the American sitcoms and shows they screen here. However, I have never really interacted with Americans up close and personal. So yea, I guess I'll still be in for a culture shock. I suppose it's the kind of shock that I welcome. Please oh please oh please, let me get throught the stringent interview... ... Have to, no, MUST focus on impressing the interviwers.
Next Thursday, 9.45am. Wish me all the best! *inhales and exhales*

Still warming up... & Bon fete nationales!

It's already the 3rd week and I still cannot adapt to the mountian of readings that I have to complete. Not forgetting the assignments.. Headache. Been getting slight dizzy spells, probably due to the lack of exercise? Feel that my heart pumps harder and faster than it used to. Don't know what's wrong. Serves me right.
Watched Charlie and Chocolate Factory, the chocolate lake with its waterfall reminded me of, strangely, Milo. I'm sure many people have read the book before, but I have never read this particular book by Roald Dahl. I quite like Witches and Matilda. Liked the movie for its fantasy, the accurate portrayal of super spoilt brats and Willy Wonka's sarcastic wit. But, song and dance after each kid disappeared was redundant, it's too much. The song lyrics were pretty silly, but I like! Felt it was rather inventive. Haha. I think the guy who acted as the "what-do-you-call-it?" (small dwarf-like men) should have been paid alot, he was practically present in every scene. The best musical-movie I watched by far is Moulin Rouge, really wanted to watch Chicago though. Watched it with Leb, he didn't like it. He felt it was too absurd and silly, whereas I liked it for it's silliness. It helped regain a little of my child-like wonderment. Ah well, each to their own. *plbbt- sticks tongue out* But, it's a bummer to pay so much for a show you didn't enjoy. So, yea, I understand.
Stuck at home today, trying to complete my readings... *yawn*The family has disappeared since this morning. Sometimes, it feels as if I live alone. When I'm around, nobody is. When I'm not, someone will be at home. I suppose I'm used to being alone. Everybody's off to their own activities. Dad's at IKEA and mum's at my aunt's place. I have no idea why Dad's at IKEA all by himself, I never trusted his taste in things. Hope he doesn't buy something ugly back. :p Happy to be alone at home, getting some peace and quiet with my textbooks, notes and dog. All that is missing is cold weather, a fireplace, a rocking chair and some hot cocoa.

Procastination maketh an ass out of me.

Getting really frustrated by the subject combination for applying to INSTEP( Don't ask me what it means, it's the acronym for the exchange program). Couldn't find matching modules to take. May not be applying for INSTEP after all because the deadline is so near and I have not prepared anything. Apply next semester? Think it'll be better that way. Wanted to go pester Julian Lescar for help, but realised that I don't even know how to ask him which area I need help in. Having to balance schoolwork with the lengthy application is not helping at all.
With the start of this semester, it's back to the delicate balance of having a life and clearing my work. Feeling suffocated already. Shall not procrastinate. MUST clear work! Won't say that school has been boring, on the contrary I've been too busy to be bored. Alright, I almost fell asleep for a few lectures. But, a student's got to do what a student got to do righto? My primary duty is to keep awake during lectures. Yawn...
Quote of the day: Short is pretty. ( Not quoted by me.) Yes, No?
Rubbish. Haha.
Played with bacteria during lab and managed to get out of the lab with no purple or red stains. Klutzy me did not upset any dye to tie-dye my lab coat. Come to think of it, it's actually quite cool to have a purple or pink lab coat, no? Argh... Lab report. Wish it would write itself.

What will I give to be in a better situation?

The reason why I enjoy watching movies so much is because they transport me into an ideal world where the good guys triumph and the bad guys lose. Where losers end up winning. Whereby my troubles suddenly seem insignificant compared to the crisis the faced in the plot. I've just watched The Island and Wedding Crashers this week. Both were good.
The Island was thought provoking, delving into the ethics of cloning. Although the movie was highly far from reality, but the essence of it is real. We can clone humans, just that we are not so adept at it yet. Yes, yet. Sacrificing one human to save another's life. How ethical is that? Isn't it tantamount to murder?
Wedding Crashers was crude... Had alot of dirty humour, dealing with certain parts of the anatomy. However, it was still funny. I just didn't find extreme ( I mean seriously extreme) dirty jokes funny, I can only say they were gross! Jx won tickets to the movie, she's always winning movie tickets and I benefit as her friend! Free movies! Haha.
Enough with self-delusion. In reality, I feel tired. Things have been happening this week, bad things. Received a not very pleasant e-mail, that caused me to feel guilty. Because, it was indeed my fault. It proved that I am not such a trustworthy person after all, I didn't do anything when things were still within my control. Secondly, there's imminent trouble approaching. Rest will be going to sleep and never waking up, dreaming a pleasant dream. Weary of life at 20? This is abit too soon, isn't it?

School is in full swing!

I had my first full day. Meaning with tutorials and lab starting this week. I got lab tomorrow, which means I have to crawl out of bed at 6.30am... Who in the right mind gets up this early?? I have became lazier upon graduation from NJ. Almost felt like dozing off at the last lecture I had for the day, as a result I didn't catch somethings that the lecturer was saying. It all sounded like droning to me. Only the textbook can save me now. Independent learning does pay off, especially if you can't catch everything during lectures. I wonder if it's useful to record down lectures on tape? Can listen to them if I get insomnia again. Haha. Oh well.. Worth a try. Sick of going, "Huh? What did he say? Did you all catch anything?" Well, we're all comatose. The deaf leading the deaf.
I have kind of given up on eating lunch in NTU. Just asked Jac to help me buy sandwiches to eat at school. They opened up a cafe at my school alright, but which student can afford to eat there on a daily basis? Might as well don't even open it, since the food is expensive and not tasty either. Open another canteen!!! Besides that, I've been immersed in the world of nerves, bacteria and biostatistics. 3 months of vacation is simply not done.