Still alive.

Had fun at French tutorial. French 101: Je (jeeer) m'appelle (mapal) Dawn. Je (jeeer) suis (sui) Singapourenne (Singa-poo-yearn). Try asking me next time when you meet me if have difficulty pronouncing, I'm laughing myself silly trying to pronounce already. It's difficult, but fun. Don't even get started on the conjugates... *faint*
Anyway, I'm a horrible person? I just wonder when some of my friends upset me when I don't deserve such ill-treatment. Don't be mistakened I've got great friends, but I suppose I am in such a state because it's somehow my own fault. Just want to say that I'm not omnipotent, but I try my best to be a good friend. It's just so difficult to not expect anything in return. I'm starting to think it's impossible.

3 day week and a fantastic timetable! Whee!

School has officially started, but not my labs and tutorials. Which explains why I don't have to attend school today and tomorrow!! Hahaha. But, I still have tutorials to complete... :'( At least no lab reports to write yet. Still, I have a 11page reading to do about stem cells and answer the questions given. The article is definitely not reader friendly. I can't even understand the overview!! I can't understand what they did to the poor lab mice. It's written in an unfathomable language. Argh. Have about 4 weeks to finish it... Help.
Spent all morning trying to log in to STARS. Finally got through at 2pm, after 4 hours of not-stop trying. I really thank God for the current timetable. It's great! I'm taking French... Wonder if it will be easier to understand than the article that I have to read. Lessons are nicely packed with no large empty breaks. So, I can end school at 4.30 to 5.30pm. It's pretty good :D
Welcome back to the grind. *sweats*

Horrible Timetable... ...

Actually, my timetable was pretty good. Until they didn't give me the GE I wanted. Now, I have 2 days that end at 7.30pm... One of them has a 5 hours break in between. What am I going to do?? Yeah, I can do my work. But, I absolutely detest having to wait that long! 5 whole hours. It's ridiculous. Should I drop it? Then again, I heard that next semester things will get worse. Which is not a good time to pick up a GE. Really at a loss.

Headache...

New sunglasses...

I have a headache after speed marking the worksheets. Ouch. Treated myself to a delicious chocolate cupcake from toast after work today hoping that it will alleviate the irritating headache...
Met mum in Orchard after work, since she wanted to get out of Yishun so desperately. Window shopped while waiting for her, did not find anything that fit. Yikes. What do you think of my sunglasses? Haha. My mum thinks that they are cool. I just think that they look funny on me.

Topography

Promised to play tour guide today and I did, didn't get to shop with Wy after all. She suddenly had to go to Malaysia with her family. Met Jh and we went in search for the tutorial rooms and lecture theatres. In return, he treated me to lunch :) Before we left NTU, we dropped by my previous Hall. Charlene, Corinne and Candice ( 3 Cs) were there today because of the freshmen Hall camp, but didn't see Jac. Haven't seen Jac for the whole holiday... ... Didn't go for camp last year and strangely I have no regrets. I am very happy to have befriended the 3 Cs and Jac.
Finally took a photo with my roomie. :) Hope to post them up soon.
Felt pretty detached today, because I was some sort of distracted. Don't know if I'm overreacting.

A small hiccup.

I am not sure what subjects I'm registered for. Uh oh. I know what core subjects are registered, but I'm clueless about the GE and PE. I applied for 2 GEs and 1 PE. Don't know which one I got, because the system doesn't show it. I'm in suspense. Honestly, I really don't know if I should just take French for the sake of going to Switzerland. I think not.. I can't force myself to learn French that quickly in 6 months and lessons are conducted in French... ... So, I really will die if I go there. Choir, Malay, Forensic Science. Which one did I get?
School's reopening. Playing tour guide for a friend tomorrow. Hopefully I haven't forgotten how to get around school. Haha. 3 months is long, feel strange going back to school.
Finished reading HBP yesterday, really didn't like the ending. But, I suppose the death and departure of those close to Harry Potter marks the slow transition of Harry's maturity and independence. Sort of reflects reality doesn't it? As we grow older, the people around us come and go. There are some people whom you did like to stay with forever, but there's no such thing as forever. A lifetime perhaps. I wonder what will happen to Draco Malfoy?? Will he turn to the light side? I love misunderstood villians!! Muahahaha.

Rejected again.

Although it is not possible to study Medicine anymore, miracles can happen. However, miracles are not happening. I got rejected by UWA saying that my ISAT scores weren't good enough.. What rubbish.. I scored 100% in one section and close 90% in the other. Which is already higher than the average Tom, Dick or Harry. What's not yours will not be yours. Even with the grades, I don't have the $$. I am licked God. I know it is somewhere that You seriously don't want me to go. Then where?? I really don't know anymore. Shall I just shut myself away in some god-forsaken research lab? Ok, who knows I may discover some cure.
Then You make in me charge of so many things involving MONEY. I always do something MONEY- related. Makes me start wondering why I didn't take accountancy. That word just evokes so much emotion in my family. Just that mere word mentioned, and arguments, cold wars and fights can start in this household. Yes, this is the kind of family I live in. We aren't money-minded people, but circumstances have forced us to be mercenary and calculative. I just HATE that word. I don't believe that MONEY is evil, but it's the attitude we have towards it. You know what? Maybe I don't care anymore. I save what I can and spend on what I must or should.
Have yet to collect my Harry Potter... Sigh. Will do it first thing in the morning tomorrow!!

Chick Flicks and Chicks.

Argh.. I think I am turning girly-girl. Well, went over to Leng's for to watch Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants and 13 going on 30. 2 chick flicks in a day is enough to melt my brain. Well, such movies just have a tendency to make you turn into mush and encourage wishful thinking? Haha. Moral of the stories (yes, plural): There's always a guy waiting for you at the end of the rainbow. Well, Sisterhood was interesting it also deals with family and life. 12 year old girl who died of Leukemia and a broken family. So, it wasn't all brainless romance... Oh well, I don't watch chick flicks all the time anyway. Watching them all the time will kill me. No massive doses please. Hung aroung Leng's place surfed the Net together, looked at some ridiculous flashmovies... ... Some of which were too lame for me to understand.
Met Na and Rx at Sembawang to go to Teng's. We ordered pizza!!! Yummy :) Basically an all girl's night-in. Watched TV while wolfing down the food and yakking all at the same time. Proof that girls can multi-task. Really had fun just talking rubbish, serious stuff and commenting about the TV shows. Mostly, girly-stuff. But, it was fun!! Must have more of such dinners :)
Well... Sometimes I hate being female. Some biological reasons.

Rainy Sunday and Departure Monday

Went blading with Teng and Rx on Sunday. It was definitely not our day... Some bird decided to pass motion on my haversack. The bus that was supposed to go to East Coast got diverted to another bus stop that could not be located. So, we spent half an hour waiting for the non-existent bus. The worse of all, was the sudden downpour only after we rented our blades. It stopped for awhile for us to blade and suddenly poured again. Left us all drenched. However, it was fun!! We bladed on the cyclist's path and realised how different it was from skating in the rink. We fell and had a good laugh at what happened. We also saw a rainbow bubble sitting on a cloud.








Sent both Mel and Cheryl off yesterday. Will miss the both of them. Everyone seems to be going Australia.. Rx will be leaving this Friday. Hope that school will be enjoyable :) I really hope that one day I'll have a chance to go overseas for a studying stint too. Instead of staying for a few days in a foreign country as a tourist, it will be really fun to actually live there long enough to really discover the country instead of just seeing the superficial side of the country. Maybe that might make me love Singapore even more.

Love-Ly Drama Queen

I don't know why I should be so upset over small things. Maybe I am not upset over the thing, but the people involved in it. Relax silly goose. Nothing really matters, since everything is out of my control. Everything's in His hands. Do I sound resigned? I could be. Feel that my best is never good enough, that I live more by grace than faith. Sometimes, I also feel as though no human being on Earth really cares. Oh Boo Hoo! What a tragedy! I know that's not true, but I doubt the truth. Honestly, this belief stems from self-centeredness. Which is why I'm pretty disgusted with my attitude. On the other hand, it also could be the fact that everyone is to a certain degree self-centred. Which is why, I am not the only person who tends to feel the same way. Everybody is just preoccupied with themselves and I am preoccupied with MY problems, MY feelings, MY etc... ... Is this healthy? What's self-love and what's being self-centered? I don't know how to differentiate between the two. You do things that are the best for yourself = self-love and you do things that are best for yourself not caring whether it affects other people postively or negatively = self-centered? Maybe I should have taken Philosophy in NUS instead, with all the crap I can come up with.
Watched F4 yesterday. ( No, not the Taiwan boyband! Fantastic 4!) Honestly, I was abit lost. But, alright managed to piece everything together after awhile. I seriously think too much. Maybe I should just get my brains removed. Tralala. Ate stinky beancurd also... ... Urgh. Died. I came back in spirit to blog. ( No, I'm still quite alive, I just had my brains removed. Explains the rubbish above.) Ok, I like the crispiness, the bite. But, NOT the smell and taste. Smells as though you haven't brushed your teeth for days. Oh well, I'm not alone in this. That's what matters. Hahaha. Tired. *eyelids drooping*

London Bombings

No Singaporeans were harmed during the bombings. Wonder which part of Europe Jx and her boyfriend is in now? Hopefully not London, since the situation there seems chaotic. It's freaking scary planting bombs at what 5 to 6 subway stations and 2 double deckers. Really hope that they are not in London.
If it's our MRT stations being bombed... Almost happened though. Quite nearby to boot. Realised that people will not make a big outburst of things that almost happened, but never did. Only when something happens and people die, then there will be alot of news. Perhaps it's also because there's no news to report when nothing happens. The media cashes in when there's sensational news. Take the 911 incident for instance. I'm pretty sure they made a quick buck when people grabbed all newspapers and magazines off the rack. I think that its neither right nor wrong for the media to cash in on bad news. They are reporting facts and giving the public what they want. However, this only extends to 'real news' not gossip columns.
I am guilty of reading gossip columns sometimes. But, is it ethical for a publishing company to cash in on someone's private life? Pitiful sods.
Sorry about the GPish entry! Haha.

Enjoying life thus far.

Sporting events of the day: HK drama serial marathon and swimming.
It was nostalgic watching the drama serial aired on Channel 8 four years ago. Couldn't believe that time has passed so quickly. Trying to pace myself, not too watch too many VCDs in one sitting. Who knew watching drama serials can be a sport? Haha. Sign me up for the Olympics! I am just so tempted to keep watching, watching and watching. After all, changing discs isn't much of a chore.
Took time off from TV marathon to swim. I swam 10 laps! Amazing. Considering the fact that I am not as fit as I used to be 1 year and few months ago. However, I was the slowest in the pool. People finished swimming 1 lap and I was still halfway to 3/4way through the lap. Plus, I got a head start. I just couldn't help noticing. Jia you Dawn! I really need it. No speed at all.
Quite sad that I've got work tomorrow.. Can't bum around at home. I love being a bum :) It's so addictive. Like drama serials. Once you start, you can't stop.

IOC at City Hall.

Went out, ate alot of sweet stuff. Overloaded on sugar. Better start exercising tomorrow! Just detest the feeling of lethargy sinking in making you feel like a lump of lard. Better slack away when I still can and get my exchange program application done soon. Seriously, the form is a chore to fill in. It's super long-winded... But, for the sake of a new environment. I'll do it. Soon.
Will be doing a VCD marathon tomorrow :p (Thank Leb for the VCDs) Welcome to a slacker's life!!! Hahaha. Perhaps start clearing my room the week before school starts. Don't you just envy me?
Slacking aside. I quite regret not buying the T-shirt I saw at Bugis last week with Candice. It wasn't expensive, but somehow I just wasn't inclined to buy it then. When I went back today, it's gone. *Poof*
Moral of the story: Don't ever drag things on for too long. They will not wait for you to make up your mind. Can be applied to many things in life. Carpe Diem: Seize the moment.
People say that I appear to more laid back these days. Don't look as burnt out as I was back in JC. Perhaps this has got to do with all the letting go I've been doing for the past few months. I am a girl without a long term goal, the future is a big ? mark. Medicine has really closed its doors on me. I'll just keep knocking and wait for the door to open. After all, "stubborn" is my middle name. Or, if you want to put it nicely, determined.

Overtime.

Had a pretty hectic day, deposited my pay cheque today. Grabbed lunch before going to work. Had a craving for fried chicken, therefore I went to eat at KFC. Was sitting alone in the crowded fast food restaurant, just wanted to eat as quickly as possible and get out of there. I don't know if it sounds strange, but food isn't as tasty when you eat alone. I have less enthusiasm to eat when alone. But, when I'm hungry I don't really care anymore. Or I switch on the TV for company. That's what I do when I have to eat alone at home. Do I sound like I have some kind of pyschotic disorder? Worked till 8 plus today because I had to tutor Chloe in Chinese. Chloe is one of the younger kids at the centre. Very endearing little girl :) She looks like a doll! Normally I don't do such things, but my colleague, Cindy, had to leave earlier today. So, she left Chloe with me. I was abit lost in the beginning though. Thank God that things went ok. Reached home at 9 plus for dinner... Strangely, I didn't feel hungry at all.
Just feel like I can go on working non-stop. Suddenly just want to drown myself in work and forget that the rest of the world exists. That is highly possible when the semester starts. What's the next milestone in my life? Graduation? Everything seems cliche. Suddenly, I just feel so jaded and cynical.

Hip Hip Hooray! More tests.. Believe it or not.

You are happy, driven, and status conscious. You want everyone to know how successful you are. Very logical, you see life as a game of strategy. A bit of a loner, you prefer to depend on yourself. You always keep your cool and your composure. You are a born leader and business person.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are Rocky Road Ice Cream Unpredictable and wild, you know how to have fun. You're also a trendsetter who takes risks with new things. You know about the latest and greatest - and may have invented it. You are most compatible with vanilla ice cream. What Flavor Ice Cream Are You? You Are a Visionary Soul You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul What Kind of Soul Are You? You Are From the Moon You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon. You're in touch with your emotions and intuition. You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory. Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone). A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many. What Planet Are You From? You Belong in 1962 1962 If you scored... 1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in! 1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too. 1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all! 1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day. 1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good! What Year Do You Belong In? Your EQ is 140 50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar. What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)? You Are Strawberry Pocky Your attitude: fresh and sweet Comforting, yet quirky ... quietly hyper You always see both sides to everything What Flavor Pocky Are You? You Are a Drama Princess (or Prince) (You are more dramatic than 40% of the population.) You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments. You know how to steal the spotlight... And how to act out to get your way. People around you know that you're good for a laugh. But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone. Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention. Are You a Drama Queen (or King)? You Are A Good Friend You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"! What Kind of Friend Are You? You Are Socks! Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet. What Crappy Gift Are You? Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator. What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have? You Are Not Scary Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet? How scary are you? How Your Attitude Ranks Your Attitude is Better than 50% of the Population If you scored... 80-100: You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life. 60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you. 40 - 59: You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones. 20 - 39: You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good. 0-19: You have a negative attitude. You tend to see the dark side of every situation. Free ice cream? No thanks, it will just make you fat! How's Your Attitude? Your Dominant Thinking Style: Exploring You thrive on the unknown and unpredictable. Novelty is your middle name. You are a challenger. You tend to challenge common assumptions and beliefs. An expert inventor and problem solver, you approach everything from new angles. You show people how to question their models of the world. Your Secondary Thinking Style: Visioning You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum. What's Your Thinking Style? I think some of the results are pretty inaccurate. The crux of the problem lies in the sort of questions they ask. Too vague? Anyway, it's all done in the name of f-u-n. Went out with Jas and Germ to eat at Fish & Co and watched Batman Begins. Food was definitely good, better still was the unlimited refills of mango-carrot for $4. Alas, we spent alot on dinner. Watching a movie today is also costly... But, we don't get to go out with Jas often. Last met her during the November holidays last year. Batman Begins exceeded my expectations, albeit some scenes were meant to be scary more than funny/silly. It has a dark, gothic feel. ( Well, bats. Whaddya expect?) Over spending again.. God help me with my faith pledge.

Chocs for thought.

4 Changes that sets u apart from unbelievers.
1. Attitude towards your circumstances.
Meaning: Willing to have faith that God is in control even when things are bad. Really bad.
2. Strong Character
Meaning: One that will hold fast to God? Not give up easily.
3. Concentration
Meaning: Focusing on God's purpose for our lives.
4. Confidence
Meaning: The "thing" that gives you the surety to do something.
I suppose I really lack 2, 3. I tend to veer off course frequently and that is because I have a weak character. Sometimes, I tend to struggle with 1,4 too. I suppose life hasn't always been kind to everyone. Doubts just creep into your head. Pray, pray and pray... I just reflect badly on Jesus don't I? I try my best not to reflect badly on God... Yet, I have to be honest at the same time. Some people just appear to be happy even though they are hurting inside. I don't know how they do it. I'm an open book, I don't really try to hide what I'm feeling. Though I'm capable to doing so, but it's just too tiring to do that, no?
Sermon was about moving and giving. It tied up with the faith pledge. Honestly, I can't even promise $120 as my money does not belong to me. I am really going by faith after all the events that have happened recently. But, I should be able to if nothing goes wrong. I feel that I give too little to God.. Everything seems to be about self-gratification. When will I stop living for myself?? Then life will have more meaning won't it?
I just thank God for all the people in my life. Though I get majorly upset and pissed off with them at times, they still are wonderful in their own unique way. Just wondering, how far would you go out of your way to help someone? How much would you sacrifice? And why would you sacrifice that much? Very often, I tend to ask people to make sacrifices for me. Just because I think I deserve it. Things just don't work this way.

I need the loo... ...

Did not sleep well yesterday night. Kept going to the loo during odd hours because of a mild case of food poisoning from the eating or drinking too much yoghurty stuff? I have a weak stomach that I admit. Hope Candice does not share the same problem. But, I'm fine now. Dinner went well, without the need to purge immediately after eating and no tummyache.
Accompanied Mum to get her beads from Chinatown AGAIN. I am becoming an Ah Ma. Sigh. Well, at least dinner's on her :) And boy was dinner scrumptious! Had birdnest almond eggtart. Interesting.