21 yrs and 2 days old.

The 21st has came and passed without much hoo hah. Was too preoccupied to think about celebrating on the actual day, had a respite on Sat evening during the last dinner with Candice, Jac and Charlene. Hehe, actually coerced Candice and Jac into horror flick, Silk. Candice was hiding her face behind her handbag, she probably only watched 1/4 of the show. Sigh. Hahaha. Jac didn't find it too disturbing though. The chilli crab pasta at Creation is simply superb! I HAVE to eat it a few more times before leaving Sg. I MUST. Unfortunately I got no pics again. My camera was out of batt this time round.
Other than that, the whole weekend was spent in church. Starting from Friday evening. Feel kinda drained. I have resolved that I should stay back after school to study in the resource room and keep my weekends free in the event that something comes up... ... Anything can happen.
Won't say that nothing happened in church, but I rather not blog about it. The most striking thing that I've heard during service today was, " All battles belong to God. So are you on His side?" It's comforting to know that God is the one Who's fighting, not me, so I just have to try my best and stay on the right side of the fence. AKA studying when I should. One of the battles that I'll be facing will be the impending exams. However, there are battles which I wonder belong to God. I guess if they are not battles for me, then He will end the struggle by closing the door once and for all. This has happened several times, with alot of grief on my part.
Still struggling with thoughts and feelings everyday, I feel out of place easily, but I don't feel too bothered by it anymore. Coz, I'm not the only one that feels this way. I can be in room full of people, but I am alone. (Still happens.) Strangely, some people in the room are feeling the same way too, but refuse to tear down the walls they built around themselves and complain no one cares, no one bothers when they don't let others in. So, I can only say that I'm lonely because I choose to be. By putting on a stony face and looking as welcoming as an ice cube it's no wonder to be alone. I'm not saying that only smiley faces matter (but it sure helps), it's about being open. I'm not the most open book around, but I sure am trying.

I lost my 21st birthday dinner photos... *sob!!*

Got a feeling you all are going to kill me or go, "Hai, wasted." My camera really self-deleted all the photos! Darn. Anyways, to sum up what I have lost in words.
Had dinner with Germ and Jas at Fish & Co. Took alot of silly photographs while waiting for Jas and a table. All gone. Sigh. Then they sabohed me and the video clip was lost. If you want to know what the saboh is go celebrate your birthday at Fish & Co to find out. Yupz. Not telling :p
Went for steamboat the next day with Na and Tengz. All lost. Boo Hoo. Was looking forward to uploading the pics. :(
Karen, OCX and Yingz got me a really useful gift. A web cam! Yea! Can video conference with people back home next year :D
Thanks for doting on me anyway you dear darlings, I feel like a princess! Hahahaha....

Ms Whiny Pok

This week has been energy draining. I fall dead asleep the moment my head touches the pillow every single night. I feel sapped of all my energy and really have no clue where I spent all my time. Been a good girl and been staying home after school this week, so why am I so tired? hmmm? Perhaps it's because of the unmentionable mthly thingy. Perhaps it's because of piling, piling and piling amount of work to be cleared. I DON'T wanna do anything anymore. ARRRRRGH. Since I can't recall how or where I spent my time, maybe I've been abducted by aliens, coz it sure feels like it. Not that I've ever been abducted before. Zzzzzzz....... Ok. End of whining.
Let's see.. On Monday, I went out to watch a movie with germ. Some brainless, plotless flick that only requires you to chew on your knuckles and hide behind fingers when some character is going to be gruesomely murdered by the blood bathing countess of bathory. Heh. Yea.. The movie is called Staying alive. No lasting trauma though. Unlike some horror flicks that make your imagination run wild in the middle of the night, while you are in the loo, in the lift alone or whatever...
Helped Shalom with her stuff on Tues night. Her mum made luo han guo! Yay! Just what I really really really needed. Coz my throat was dying on me again. I wonder if I'll become mute one day?? I keep getting throat infections so often. It's not normal. :S And I finally went to the skin centre to rescue my skin. Ended up with antibiotics and creams. Hope they'll work.... Coz I can't take it anymore. Mum is driving me nuts by probing into my pimples. Yeow. Please please please go away, so that people will STOP staring at my face. Especially Mum. Argh.
My prof wanted to talk to me so that he could write me a testimonial for my application to GIP scholarship.. And so I went to his office. Anticipating difficult interview type questions. In the end, I think he talked more than I did. Hahaha...Had a really great time talking to him, never had a teacher who was willing to take time out to get to know me. We chatted for 2 hours and went for dinner. He gave me quite alot of advice and it's interesting to know more about the profs too. He's so grandfatherly :D I guess I'm really impressed that my prof being an acclaimed scientist is concerned about us little shrimps who are no where near to being a scientist. He's got tons of assignments to mark, research papers to edit and etc... But, he took time out to talk to me. Wow. I'm impressed. If I ever reach where he is, I'll remember to do that for someone else too.
Another cousin of mine is leaving Singapore to work in Michigan, somewhere in the US. Went for his farewell party and met up with the rest of the family. Cher, Nick, Ah ee!! I really miss the Tan family.
Everything's changing. Though I wish somethings didn't.

Not so big oooooh....

The long awaited dinner finally happened yesterday, the JC clique finally reunited. Thanks to moi. Nah, thanks for squeezing time out although there's hardly time to come out, especially YL. NUS people are so much more busier than us. I know you all will hate me, coz I only have one so-called mid term paper which is all mcqs. But, I will have many more assignments to do and all of them are individual work. In a way, it's a good thing as individual work somehow means less hassle.
We went out for dinner at Big 'O'. Quite disappointing as the price was rather exorbitant for such small portions. Ah, what to do? Big 'O' is only famous for their cakes ba. I have learnt my lesson. At least the cakes weren't disappointing. :D

4 happy girls and 3 yummy cakes!

Found it funny (haha) that yl, wy and jx were trying so hard to pretend that they weren't choosing a bracelet for me. First, found it weird how come Yl suddenly wanted to buy a bracelet, then there was all that no so subtle whispering and evasive talking. Hahahaha. Still, I love the bracelet they got for me. It's so giraffee!! Hahahaha. And the card is identical to the birthday card my uni friends gave me on my 18th birthday. My friends all think alike. Heh heh. Funny funny.

Pressie from my dearies!
More pics @
http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=183&id=227800168&l=f2b86

It's all in this grey-jelly like thing we call a brain.

Been trying to memorise this verse, " Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12: 1-2.

And as I was memorising, I wondered how could my mind be transformed?? I read this book, "Phantoms in the Brain". Apparently, it was found that people's minds could literally change, by some sort of unexplainable occurence. As stated in the book "seizures" or repeated electrical bursts that open "new" channels permanently. Due to these "new" pathways for the transmission of electrical impulses in the brain, it was found that spiritual people responded more to spiritually related words, pictures, etc.. And their response to sex and violence decreased. Strange huh?

It convinces me that God is truly the One at work to transform the way we think, feel, etc... Where else can these mysterious life-changing electrical sparks come from? Some things are just unexplainable.