Monday, September 22, 2008
Music is beyond words
There is this Japanese song that I daisuki ( really really like) and I decided to find the translation for it. To my surprise, the lyrics hit too close to home. Perhaps it would've been better if I didn't understand the lyrics. I guess the point is I am drawn to music that match my feelings, even if I don't understand the lyrics. I guess music gives me away.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
That Missing Thing That I Didn't Quite Get Until Now.
This sounds really strange coming from a 10yr old Christian. But, this baka here finally experienced something so amazing. Which is... JOY
All along I have been mistaking happiness for joy. I thought I had it with me, but I didn't. Because when things changed for the worse, they upset me and people who know me well can see that I am sad, angry, annoyed.. In other words, I was on an emotional roller coaster and my emotional health depended very much on the circumstances around me. I often convinced myself that life on earth isn't supposed to happy anyway, so it's alright not to be happy 24/7, "Oh well, this is life. What can I expect?Life's not supposed to be that great after all, if not I won't be looking forward to heaven." I couldn't understand how to be joyful under all these circumstances whereby nothing seems to be working out for me. So I behaved the way I felt, whether I knew it or not.
Then came the turning point. My attitude and character improved as I served as a cell leader in Secell. I learnt how to take care of people, but there were occasions when my ghosts came to haunt me. I became happier, but still I wasn't joyful. I was still on that dratted emo roller coaster when it came to relationships with other people. Career became less important to me, though of course I do want to do well! And now I KNOW what is joy because I am experiencing it now. Because I came to realise that all I NEED is God. The rest is just icing on the cake. Friends, family, money and career. They are just icing. I just need the CAKE. Nothing and nobody can meet my needs. Not my cell leader, not my friends, not my sheep, not my ministry, not anything or anyone. Just God. Knowing that nothing else well make me get off the emo roller coaster, I decided to just be joyful knowing that God is faithful and is constant. Who cares about the rest?? Never changing and when I spend my time and effort on Him, I don't feel tired, but refreshed. By spending time and effort, I mean talking to him and reading His word, doing Bible study and being a living testimony for Christ.
I have lots of time for that now, since I didn't have Internet access at home and when I go to work the first thing I do is to read the Bible. I talk to God throughout the day, because there are few people that I can talk to. Though I have awesome churchmates in Japan, I do not get upset anymore when they are too busy to talk to me. Because, I know I am responsible for my own joy. So, CHOOSE to be joyful in God. He is the only ONE who doesn't disappoint.
All along I have been mistaking happiness for joy. I thought I had it with me, but I didn't. Because when things changed for the worse, they upset me and people who know me well can see that I am sad, angry, annoyed.. In other words, I was on an emotional roller coaster and my emotional health depended very much on the circumstances around me. I often convinced myself that life on earth isn't supposed to happy anyway, so it's alright not to be happy 24/7, "Oh well, this is life. What can I expect?Life's not supposed to be that great after all, if not I won't be looking forward to heaven." I couldn't understand how to be joyful under all these circumstances whereby nothing seems to be working out for me. So I behaved the way I felt, whether I knew it or not.
Then came the turning point. My attitude and character improved as I served as a cell leader in Secell. I learnt how to take care of people, but there were occasions when my ghosts came to haunt me. I became happier, but still I wasn't joyful. I was still on that dratted emo roller coaster when it came to relationships with other people. Career became less important to me, though of course I do want to do well! And now I KNOW what is joy because I am experiencing it now. Because I came to realise that all I NEED is God. The rest is just icing on the cake. Friends, family, money and career. They are just icing. I just need the CAKE. Nothing and nobody can meet my needs. Not my cell leader, not my friends, not my sheep, not my ministry, not anything or anyone. Just God. Knowing that nothing else well make me get off the emo roller coaster, I decided to just be joyful knowing that God is faithful and is constant. Who cares about the rest?? Never changing and when I spend my time and effort on Him, I don't feel tired, but refreshed. By spending time and effort, I mean talking to him and reading His word, doing Bible study and being a living testimony for Christ.
I have lots of time for that now, since I didn't have Internet access at home and when I go to work the first thing I do is to read the Bible. I talk to God throughout the day, because there are few people that I can talk to. Though I have awesome churchmates in Japan, I do not get upset anymore when they are too busy to talk to me. Because, I know I am responsible for my own joy. So, CHOOSE to be joyful in God. He is the only ONE who doesn't disappoint.
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