4 days flew by.

4 days of being a camp group leader has taught me many things and how I can improve. I can't help but admit that I am socially challenged. Seriously have to learn how to play more ice breakers and how to interact with people without stressing myself out, which results in mental blocks. My behaviour goes funny when I'm stressed and that's not good!!! I'm sure some of my grp members found me slightly off the kilter at times.
Thank you God for being there and blessing my group members individually, that each of us went home refreshed and with renewed fervor for You despite all that had happened during the camp. There were ups and downs. All I can say is that I would have been much worse off if I hadn't surrendered and kept asking Him, "How? What should I do now Lord? How can I bless my group members??"The thought of asking and seeking God did not come to me initially and this made me realise how self-reliant I was, how much I was using my own strength to accomplish tasks. What I based my self-worth on. If people are not pleased by what I do or didn't do, I will feel that I am inferior. But, God doesn't want me to please people, He wants me to please Him and this doesn't mean pleasing people for the sake of them liking me. This was a tough lesson for me to understand as it's been pretty confusing to differentiate between the 2 sometimes. Sometimes, decision making is a pain to me, especially when it involves other people. There's this over-whelming fear that the wrong decision will result in embarrasment or hurting the other person.
Things that have lost their meaning over the years have regained their meaning again, if not even more. The words hit me so hard that I reached another level of worshipping God altogether. It truly is much better to give than to receive. I wish I could give even more, but I feel so limited. I have to learn how to trust God and not to keep a death-grip on the way I run my life. Meaning that I shouldn't be so adamant about things and the possible outcomes. As we played the games, attended the sessions, worshipped God and carried on with other activities, things I thought which would never work out broke down right before my eyes. I've gotten some solutions and I can't wait to learn about even more solutions that I can find from the Bible.
Things are not going to be easy and I pray that I will be able to apply what has been taught to me.
There were times I felt like breaking down and there were times when I thought only of myself, those were the times when I felt so weak that I was ready to throw in towel and forget about everything. Especially when God what was dealing with things that I couldn't let go of.