21 yrs and 2 days old.

The 21st has came and passed without much hoo hah. Was too preoccupied to think about celebrating on the actual day, had a respite on Sat evening during the last dinner with Candice, Jac and Charlene. Hehe, actually coerced Candice and Jac into horror flick, Silk. Candice was hiding her face behind her handbag, she probably only watched 1/4 of the show. Sigh. Hahaha. Jac didn't find it too disturbing though. The chilli crab pasta at Creation is simply superb! I HAVE to eat it a few more times before leaving Sg. I MUST. Unfortunately I got no pics again. My camera was out of batt this time round.
Other than that, the whole weekend was spent in church. Starting from Friday evening. Feel kinda drained. I have resolved that I should stay back after school to study in the resource room and keep my weekends free in the event that something comes up... ... Anything can happen.
Won't say that nothing happened in church, but I rather not blog about it. The most striking thing that I've heard during service today was, " All battles belong to God. So are you on His side?" It's comforting to know that God is the one Who's fighting, not me, so I just have to try my best and stay on the right side of the fence. AKA studying when I should. One of the battles that I'll be facing will be the impending exams. However, there are battles which I wonder belong to God. I guess if they are not battles for me, then He will end the struggle by closing the door once and for all. This has happened several times, with alot of grief on my part.
Still struggling with thoughts and feelings everyday, I feel out of place easily, but I don't feel too bothered by it anymore. Coz, I'm not the only one that feels this way. I can be in room full of people, but I am alone. (Still happens.) Strangely, some people in the room are feeling the same way too, but refuse to tear down the walls they built around themselves and complain no one cares, no one bothers when they don't let others in. So, I can only say that I'm lonely because I choose to be. By putting on a stony face and looking as welcoming as an ice cube it's no wonder to be alone. I'm not saying that only smiley faces matter (but it sure helps), it's about being open. I'm not the most open book around, but I sure am trying.