Fickle, fickle

Change of skin. Again! I guess I got irritated with the phrase on the previous skin, " cause feelings mean nothing". I felt kinda disturbed everytime I look at it. So it's GONE. For good. Muahahaha.
Came back late again today. Went to catch Fantastic 4 with Candice, Corinne and Germ. As usual, I arrived late from work. The number of things to do increases everyday. *sweat* Need an extra pair of hands.

All I wanna do....

All I wanna do

is NOTHING.

Absolutely nothing. Just hang around at home and REST. Watch the clouds go by and ponder, seek God about what to do and how to deal in many aspects. Organize my scattered thoughts. My life is so disorganized now! Can't stand it. My room is a reflection of my life and currently it is filled with clutter. My mum has amazingly converted my room into a store room while I was away.

Here's what the week has been like. Work, work, work, work and Work.

Mon: Went to Takashimaya for my acne riddled face. Came out looking like a pinched tomato and boy did it hurt :(

Tues: Fiona's 21st birthday at the Vilage (Heeren)

Wed: Glady's farewell at Marche (Vivocity)

Thurs: Dinner with Yingz at JE

Fri: Shopping for birthday presents with Germ, Yingz and Faye came over to my place at 11plus pm.... Yingz stayed over and Faye came to collect her luggage. Really hope to meet up with her after she's back from her mission trip to Santiago.

Sat: Bathed my smeeeeellly dog. Headed down to church for leader's meeting, shopped around for more presents with Karen, OCX, Dan and then to Roanna's 21st birthday.

Sun: Churchie church. Dinner with Karen, OCX, Joel (x2), Shalom and Samuel. Germ and Joel dropped by and stayed around till 12, looking at my photos from the trip and videos on youtube. It's Germ's fault that I'm starting to like Crazy Frog because it looks hilarious. Esp when germ imitates it.

The coming week.. is equally bad. I wish I had time to jog, but I don't. Bumped into my friend (who was jogging) on my way home earlier and he said I should jog asap because... he could see my tummy!!!! No thanks to his honesty. Well, what he said was true. Strangely, I don't feel that affected. My tummy reminds me of happy days eating Reese Peanut Butter Cups. It's going away anyway, due to the starvation during work.

Here I promised photos.
http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=924&l=998c4&id=227800168
Guess I'm too unmotivated to blog about my trip in words. So this is my photo blog part 1 for the trip. While we were still in Atlanta.
I have so many things to blog about that I don't know where to start. Thanks for reading my blog though, the purpose of blogging is so that you (Yes you!) can read it.
Like Sheena said, blog about Teng and her coming to pick me up at the airport. I was really surprised by you both! Both of you cheered me up :) I'm sorry that I had to leave so soon though. I guess I should develop the habit of taking more photos, so that I have more to remember things by.
As expected, I've been out alot catching up with people that I have not seen for the past 5 mths. Hung out with Cherie for a couple of days, before she flew back to Vancouver. Did I tell you I looooveee my dearest cuzzies? They are my darlings.
Feel really blessed to have so many angels in disguise around me, for picking me up when I fall apart and standing by my side.
I'm still quite alive despite all the busy-ness. Started work a week ago and I'm glad to hide in the lab all day long. Can't fathom how I used to be able to stand the heat and humidity. My occupation is to grow bacteria and keep those lil' bags happy. When they are happy they will produce my favourite protein. If not, I think my prof will be more than unhappy. I have wonderful colleagues too :) However, it doesn't mean that I can't wait to get off work and get a life. It's probably my most enjoyable job so far, but I still prefer studying. At least, you get hols as a student, no?

Who is Oguri Shun??! (Cher and Me at HK Cafe) Credits: Lenggy.

I'll be back (soon)

I will miss Atlanta. it has already grown on me. Haha. Only few more hours to fly and I'm still awake, it's gonna be more than 24hrs of sleeping, eating, sitting, stoning and reflecting upon what I've been up to for the past 5 months. Somethings are best left here and some I'm going to bring home, for example, cooking! Hehe. I starting to type gibberish... So, I guess I'll make this short. I'm on my way back home. Home sweet home Singapore. (not Alabama) And I'll be posting pictures of my 1 mth long roadtrip round the States, once I get enough motivation. (Hint: Need motivation) Or you could refer to Caleb's blog for highlights of the trip. Hasta la vista :) I'll see you guys back in Singapore soon!

2am in Las Vegas

It's been 10days since I left Tech. Been to New York, Niagara Falls and Toronto. Talk about speed travelling. Really tired now, considering it's close to 6am in the morning to me, but only 2.45am in Las Vegas. I have only went back 3 hrs back in time. Arrrgh. Yep, but I'm well and alive in case you are wondering where I've disappeared to. Will be heading next to Los Angeles, San Diego and San Francisco. Then I'll be back on the 3rd of June!! In the meantime, I doubt I'll be able to blog at all. Because free wireless here is scarce. And I've got no time to blog either. I promise pictures when I'm back in Sg :)

Exams are finally over!

Yep. That's all I have the energy to type to for now. I'm glad that the exams are over, a huge load off my mind. Been spending more time with friends whom I'm not going meet sometime soon in the future, no thanks to the distance that separates 2 continents. Lots of stuff left to be done.
In case you are wondering, Caleb is safe and sound with me and has settled in quite comfortably.

A time to rejoice, a time to weep.

The killings on Monday at VT has shocked the entire US. School is no longer a safe place. I can't help but wonder what goes on in the mind of Cho Seung-Hui the guy who meticulously thought out the whole killing spree and how alike I was to his victims. It's easy for me to picture the scene in my eye. A guy who suddenly walks into the classroom and showers it with bullets and the next moment your friends and probably yourself are dead. This reminds me of what life is about and what is worth living for. Definitely not grades, why would grades matter when you are dead? I couldn't remain apathetic to the killings that are happening right under my nose, maybe I would be less affected in Singapore as I cannot really identify with the scene. But, now that I am studying in US, it's easy to see how such a tragedy can happen and how traumatic it is.

Spent the week in reflection and prayer for the community in Virginia Tech and for God's mercy on the killer's soul. How misguided he was. I pray that God' glory and love will be evident in VT. What Man meant for evil, God will turn it for good. He will turn winter into spring, He will make something good out of all this suffering.


Other than that, I have been studying and working on my homework. 1 more week to the finals :S I need God's strength to pull me through all of this. I don't see how I'm going to survive without His help. Seriously.

Easter with the Shekarabis

Spent Easter over at Andrea's home. I learnt how to cook some authentic American food and got to know her family and friends. Her parents are really cool people and her Mum is really humourous. I love the Shekarabis!! Thanks for adopting me.

Pool sharks
I missed home too, reminds me of how Mum will buy hot cross buns for Gd Friday and Easter. Next year we'll bake them, won't we Mum? I wish we cooked more at home.
Missed the steak and cake today, but went for prayer meeting today. Steven, our ever gracious host, fed us with cheese dip with nacho chips and wheat choc chip cookies. I was stuffed to the brim. No wonder I'm growing horizontally. I'm starting to enjoy praying corporately :)

A big misunderstanding and ugly accusations

It is disappointing that my parents think so little of me. No thanks to dad for all the accusations and no, I won't be like Juliana because it's not like that at all. Things are not what you assume it to be. I can't force people to adhere to my travel plans. We're all splitting up into smaller groups anyway. If what I've said initially caused you both to worry, I'm really sorry.

No longer bound by law.

Something about a recent Bible study hit me really hard. We are free from the Law, as mentioned in Galatians 5. So are we free to do whatsoever we wish if we accept Christ? Not really. Why? Because I am compelled to obey the Law because I love God. Perhaps the best way to illustrate this would be me cleaning the house because my mum threatens to take away my allowance if I don't VS me cleaning the house because I love my mum. Same end result, but when I obey my mum because I love her, it'll make me feel happy and free, not bound, not forced to do something I don't want to. I am really overjoyed and relieved having this freedom, because it's no longer a chore to follow what God says. If I tried to follow God's rules, eg: Love your brother as yourself, on my own, without accepting help from the Holy Spirit, without love for God, I will feel that I'm being coerced into doing it. Perhaps, that's what I felt before. If we love God and His commands, we will not feel that we're forced to obey and be fearful of punishments if we don't do it. Instead, we will follow it joyfully and experience relief. Haven't we ever felt really disturbed, frustrated at doing something that we are forced to do? The relief I'm speaking of is being free of feeling this way.

The thought that I am free in Christ, turns any rotten day into a good one :)

No words can express my gratitude for Your love

The testimony shared by a fellow student at today's tea session in Tech struck a chord with me. How often have I tried to fill the emptiness within me with people's affections, approval and so forth? I once was obsessesed with trying to earn someone's love and it only left me broken. Now, I try to earn approval from my parents or lecturers. The amusing thing is gaining all these things won't be enough anyway. I didn't know I had put idols before God. Like Leah, I tried to earn another person's love by doing all that I thought could get me his love. I realise how wrong I have went and how unhappy it made me. In the end, I was willing to settle for something less and I did. But, I thank God that He didn't allow me to settle for less. Things didn't last and fell apart. Things wouldn't have went wrong if my eyes were on God, fell into the trap of idolising someone. Thank You for setting me free God. It's easy to fall into the trap and not realise it. Which is why I need to come back to God so frequently. It's just a fine line away from falling.

Off to the hospital.

They are gonna drain my eye :( The gd ole doc thinks its neccessary. Should've seen my face fall when she said that. I would have laughed if I weren't the one whose eye is gonna get poked.

Back to the land of cluelessness.

Yaaaarggh. I can't seem to get the program up and running. Dawn and computers don't mix. Please don't even ask me why I'm taking so many programming modules this sem. I don't really have much choice. Praying hard that God will give me the wisdom to get things up and running, if not be humble enough to seek HELP!!!! I'm giving myself till tonight. Guess if I get stuck then I'll have to look for the TA. Oh and guess what? I have an exam coming Thurs on equations that I do not recognize at all. Save me God.
Things are out of my control, but I'm not feeling panicky at all. I pray that God will see my family through this and change my Dad's perspective on working. Thank God that it won't affect me immediately and that I have some means to look after myself now. Graduating in 1 yr's time. Really hope to go into grad sch. Although the allowance is only sufficient for me to support the family a little and not enough for saving or an extravagant lifestyle, I guess I'll live with it for now. I'm biding my time for the long haul ahead. While my friends are probably gonna go for jobs that earn big bucks, I am waiting for God to open doors for me.
Feel that I am learning to get over my fear of asking people for help. I don't like to trouble people and this has something to do with my pride. But, I've been asking and getting alot of help from lotsa people lately. Especially Germ. She's been a blessing to me. She hangs around even when I'm not fit for company, went through bad patches and she's always been around to give me support, even now. I LOVE you so much germy!!!! God bless your dear heart.

Chance of a lifetime

It's been a meaningful Spring Break. Well, at least the time spent in Fort Lauderdale, Miami. I'm finally back "home". Felt a little wistful when all my friends were saying how much they looked forward to going home to their friends and family, I'm not too bad myself either I would say.

The first thing I did when I got back was to turn on my lappie and call Mom.

I got to know the lovely people in crusade better :) Roomed with Laura, Katie and Andrea. They are such darlings and so are the rest. I must admit there were times when I felt odd, but it was wonderful to be accepted even when you are different.

All dressed up @ South Beach. Clothes courtesy of Laura, Katie and Andrea :)

I would like to say that this trip has kinda changed my perspective on evangelising. I am not as fearful of sharing the gospel with people anymore. Because I am simply stating a fact. And why should I water down the fact that Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we can have a relationship with God? Please don't be angry with me, I am not discounting other religions. But consider why I am stating this as a fact, I cannot fathom why Jesus will die for me, because I simply don't deserve it, but he did. There will be no one else who will love me and the rest of mankind as much as Jesus does and so I can't hide this fact. It'll be selfish of me to keep this a secret.

Evangelising to the students of University of Miami does that to you. Sandhya and I shared the gospel with a hippie. This is the first time I've ever been up-close-and-personal with someone who believes in Universal Love and all that New Age stuff... Talking to her was interesting. And she was a really nice person, but abit strange though. Even gave me numbers to contact her friends over here in Atlanta. Which I doubt I will contact. It was Sandhya's first time doing street-E and well I wasn't really that experienced either. I had my doubts at first, but after listening to Micheal share his experiences and prayin' on the way UM, I guess we felt better and more prepared.

To sum it up, I guess people here are more willing to listen compared to the people in Sg. Or maybe I was less bold in Sg?

Partners in Evangelising! I wish had Sandhya's spunk. The girl's a chilli padi.
More pics click here: One, Two

Irate Dawn.

Glad I've survived this week :) Going for my exam in about 1 plus hrs time and I'll be free! Free to enjoy my Spring Break until Thurs. Lotsa stuff to clear after I'm back, can't bum around watching movies until the break ends. Will be heading to Miami, Fort Lauderdale tomorrow! Whee! It's gonna be a 13 hr drive from here to there. Woah. And I'm still not sure who I'm riding with. Hmmm... I'll get my ride eventually.

I was pretty irate with my friends. It's the whole thing about being nice and how people oughta know their limits. And not to do everything that they're told to do without thinking.

Murphy's Law

Feel as though everything that can go wrong has went wrong on me. In case you don't know, I lost 800 USD thanks to the robbing ATM. It'll take 45 days for the money to be returned to my account? Comforted by friends who showed concern though. Be it prayers, offers to lend me money ...
I don't know why eversince then, my mood has been spiraling downwards. Starting to miss home. I haven't talked to my parents for days because I haven't been able to call them when they're awake. I must talk to my parents soon and sleep more.

A sty in my eye.

I hate getting sty in my eye. Woke up on Sun morning with one, the night b4 I slept my eye already felt prickly. Now it feels painful, swollen and itchy. Visited the Doctor and its weird that he only gave me oral medication, nothing to clean my eyes with. So tempted to buy eye wash lotion.. But I'm too lazy to walk to the supermarket so far away... Stys are a pain.
Having D gps tonight and I steamed some baos for the girls to try. My tau sar bao tastes so different from the one in Sg lah. For a start the tau sar seems different. And the baos are flat. Oh well. I miss good baos especially the one from the pau shop in Northpoint.
The medication makes me very sleepy... Feel asleep in both lectures I attended today :( Had a pop quiz after one of the lectures and well.. I hope I do well. Sigh.
Cannot-scratch-my-eye no matter how itchy it is.. Arrrrgggh.

College Tour.

Hmm I don't have pics to post this weekend. Haha. Please don't kill me. I just felt weird taking out my cam this weekend. Because I didn't exactly go sight-seeing. Left for Athens and went to Athens, the college town of University of Georgia, Athens. Whereby more than half of the inhabitants of the town are college kids and clubs and pubs fill 4 Streets of Downtown. Reminds me of the club that Buffy the Vampire Slayer goes to. lol.
Got invited to an interesting event held at UGA which is not meant for GT students. But, there were no hiccups though, fitted perfectly into the college crowd without suspicion. This event has free food, free movies and free custom-made souvenirs :) I got some souvenirs which was really cool :) Anne was so sweet to give me her wristband so that I could get the goodies too.
Stayed over at their place after that and the 5 of us played cards till wee hrs in the morning. Learnt how to play Vietnamese version of Dai Dee. Hehe. Anyone wanna learn? Actually slept at 5 this morning!! And woke up at 9 plus. Just reached back at about 7pm-ish. Coz after lunch we headed to Emory another university in Atlanta to watch Wen Eu's friend perform in a Christian drama thingy. Although there were technical errors and stuff, they performed really well. I can never not be amazed by what Jesus has done for us. He came down to die in our place. I so don't deserve Him dying for me. I want to love Him more.
Without love I will only be a resounding gong. Hollow and empty, no substance at all. I pray that He will teach me how to love others unconditionally. Coz deeds without love mean nothing. Zilch.

Weekends are so precious...

Another weekend rolling round again :D Oh well. Tests and homework aside, I've been applying for more internships. The early bird catches the worm you see? And I really want to practice what I have learnt and get paid for it at the same time.
This weekend I'll be heading for Athens, a college town an hr away from Atlanta. While the rest, except for one other friend, will be heading for Smoky Mountains. I am too broke to go to Smoky Mountains. Must save money for end of sem break. Sheesh. According to my guidebook, it seems worth visiting, since I'm a mere hr away. It's really nice of Wen Eu to bring me there and we'll be putting up at his friend's place. Which makes me feel kinda bad to trouble 2 people. Oh well... Must start thinking of ways I can say thanks to Wen Eu and his friend. What should I do? Hmmm... ... ....

About Spring Break, my friends' reactions were rather neutral. No worries then.

I kinda enjoy this solitude. I don't mind being alone, not that I mind company either. But, I'm fine alone. Helps to me to hear God better. School has been hectic, I just thank God for being here with me. There are so many occasions that He has saved me from hiccups. Well, I believe He brought me here for a purpose and I don't want to disappoint Him. Giving it my best shot be it school, being an encouragement, a testimony... blah blah blah.

Last weekend's pics of Dim Sum @ Chinatown and Georgia Aquarium
http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=596&l=f90fe&id=227800168

This is going to be exciting!

I've just made a decision that will shock my Sg friends. I have paid in full 175USD for my Spring Break trip to Miami with the crusaders. It wasn't a decision made on impulse. I prayed about it. I simply don't feel the draw towards Disneyland as much as I use to. Although I've wanted to visit it since I was 3, when Dad bought me Mickey Mouse from Cali. Disneyland, themeparks, meaningless sightseeing VS serving God in a different capacity, albeit not much sightseeing. Which would you choose? My rationale is that God will bless me so much more than I can ever anticipate. I can do the sightseeing after the semester ends. And somehow doing something for God sounds much more exciting than going to fantasyland. I like my fellow exchange buddies, but I feel like breaking away from them sometimes. I know my role among them and I feel I need to recharge. I can't keep being salty when I feel like I'm running out of flavour sometimes. It's not easy to encourage people to go to church and continuously live life the way Jesus would be pleased with. It's bloody difficult.
I'm breaking away. I'm spending one week with a bunch of people who are almost strangers. And I abandon my Spring Break in Your hands. Pray that God will use me and the rest of the crusaders greatly.