Pack, pack, pack.. Ack..

My backpack and suitcase has NO more space. Goodness. How can there be NO space? I have only packed rather little things. Oh no. Must figure a way out. It's 4.39am and I'm still packing. Better get used to this.

Took my own sweet time to check the results today. Didn't feel like checking it because I screwed up my papers. But. God never fails to amaze. The results I saw was quite unbelievable considering that 30 plus marks were deducted after every post-mortem of the exam paper done by comparing against the notes. I am in awe God. I thought I did get Cs, but the lowest grade was B. I'm no straight A student, if I were, it'll be unfair to those who started mugging 2-3 weeks before the exams. I started really late this sem, to the point that I gave up on the later papers, cramming only the day before. So, I give a BIG thank you to God above, coz this sem's results are especially important to me as they make up my whole yr's grades. Grades from the exchange are not counted. So actually, it's pointless to score As in Georgia. Meaning that I can slack. Muahahaha.

Yea right. Think God will be happy if I slack? Definitely not. I will continue to work hard, but maybe He has other stuff for me to work on, not so much on the grade grinding? What matters is putting God first. The results are a good testimony. Though honestly, I haven't been putting God first as much as I'd like.

I am not leaving Yishun today, unless I really have to. Went out with some people for the past 2 days. Guess I'm more or less ready to leave, said my farewells. Please DON'T watch Borat. Yucck.. It's disappointing in my opinion, didn't laugh very much. There's a good reason why it is R21. I don't think I'm suited to watch R21 shows. Traumatised. Errrk.

Last day in Singapore. Sleepless in Singapore. Starring: Dawn and her faithful laptop (Hopefully it remains faithful in US and doesn't quit on Dawn)

Leaving again.

I'm back from Taiwan! Thought I did blog a long post about Taiwan, but I don't have the time nor energy to do it. Maybe next time when I have more time on my hands. For now, I feel like blogging about my impending departure to US and here are the photos from Taiwan! I love that place man, love to go there in June after coming back from US. Haha. Managed to do the captions for some photos.

http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=383&l=b03ce&id=227800168
http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=382&l=dd45d&id=227800168

I'm starting to miss people even though I haven't left. It's kinda difficult to say goodbye. So, I haven't told some people that I'm leaving, lest they ask me too many questions. In case you I failed to tell you, I'm leaving coming Sat.

Been wondering what has God called me to do there, if I have been walking in His will and if going for this exchange is a mistake, becoz I must admit that at times things don't seem right. However, in general things are going well. I'm pretty hyped up about going, but I wonder if I'll get homesick and lost. Pray that He will give me the courage and to see things from His perspective. I'm going there to grow. Heh. Not that I won't grow in Singapore and Daniel had said at least twice that I'll be missing out on what's going to happen in Secell. And since I made my choice, I'll go and make the most out of it and bless the people.

I'll be attaching myself to a Jewish prof and he's been really nice to correspond with me via email even before I'm there. Staying with 2 americans and a fellow ntu mate in the same apartment and I just learnt how to cook porridge today! Bought sambal sauce to marinate fish also. Yummmmy.....

I just hope to meet as many people as I can before leaving. Time is running out... And I am determined to leave light-hearted, not in tears.

Taiwan!

Leaving for Taiwan today. It's gonna be 4 days straight of pigging out and shopping! Whee!! Fun, fun ,fun :D

Absent.

I'm at a loss of what to do because there just too many things to be done. I really have no idea where to start. Alright, I shall attempt to cook my first dish tomorrow. Ho hum, flip through the cook book and see what I conjure up from the frying pan. Hopefully dad and I will live through lunch that I'm so determined to prepare tomorrow.

Went to Glady's birthday party, she's leaving for Murdock next year to become a vet! I'm happy for her though, her dreams are coming true :) Half of my JC classmates turned up, mostly guys though. It's been 2 years since I last saw some of them and they haven't seem to have changed at all, especially the guys. Lol. Still the same old same old. Can't believe it's been this long since we've graduated from college.
I'm getting increasingly tired as the days pass. Wonder if things will get better after youth camp?

It's wonderful to spend the day home tomorrow. Help me to see things the way you want me to see them God.

Breath. A little.

Muahahaha. The exams are finally O-V-E-R. Though I must say the last paper was quite disappointing. My fault this time, I couldn't reformat my brain anymore. Yes. I felt like a storage device during the exams. Erase and store, erase and store. Finally. My brain is blissfully empty.

I feel like a changed person after every sem. Maybe that's uni life or life in general when you are 20 and above. Or perhaps this is the time of your life when the most drastic changes take place. You become the care-giver instead of being cared for, I can foresee my future role and I'm already slowly sinking into it. The difficulty level is only going to go up and up and up.

Lots of things to be done, the holidays only bring about another kind of flurry. Especially during the Dec holidays.Youth camp. Friends. Shopping. Christmas. Taiwan. Impending departure. Farewells.

No time to breathe. Wish I could spend one idyllic day doing absolutely nothing. Those days are gone. Ha. So many things I want to do. Scrapping, baking ginger snaps, vivocity and more... Ok. Fine I still haven't gotten within 10 feet of that place. But I will.

Arghgh... Sick of studying.

Went back to school to get my jabs and checkup done. Was jabbed 3 times... ouch. Paid $118 to get jabbed.. double ouch. Thank God no jabs on the butt. Haha. Hopefully, I won't need the chickenpox and hep B vaccines. The tetanus jab is a real powerful jab man, my muscle feels real sore now. Can only lift my right arm during worship tomorrow liao. I think the nurse was an expert in drawing blood and injections too, barely felt any pain, until after the jab.
Hate. injections.
Come to think of it I've had worse. Once I was hospitalized and was jabbed on the butt everyday while I was there and it wasn't a short hospital stay.
The past 2 weeks has been pure agonzing mugging, not much choice as there were some lectures I have not even read through before. This semester is even more packed than the last one, normally I would have at least read all them once before the exams. Sinking feeling in my gut... ... 2 more papers to go and both are evening papers. I always feel sleepy during evening papers, especially in the afternoon when I'm supposed to be revising before the paper. God help us all... Hopefully I won't do too badly, scared that I may get kicked out of the exchange programme if I do badly. Then all that money spent and pain I endured will go down the drain... Urgh. Please don't let it happen.
I have forgotten what Orchard Rd looks like. Haven't been there in ages... Feels like ages to me, though it's probably only about 1 month plus. Have no idea what vivocity looks like either, though I would really like to catch a movie there. By the time I'm done, I think the Dolous (this missionary ship that's 90 plus, 100? years old) would have sailed away, or already sailed away. Even my parents have been to vivocity. I am becoming a Mountain Tortoise. Sigh.

Where have I been???

Haven't been updating for quite awhile, been dealing unsuccessfully with these things below...
Yup... The exams are round the corner... This time I am TOTALLY unprepared, thanks to Heesie and his jolly lab reports. No time to study!!! Gah. Seriously need the grace of God to study the right things as there are just too many irrelevant stuff in my notes. Haven't read all of them.*sweat* Normally by this time, I would have at least read them once. Please please please pray for me... ...Yup. Things have been happening at home also. Sigh.
Anyway, I had a weird dream. I dreamt I was boarding a flight. I entered the departure gate without checking in to get my air ticket and as a result I couldn't board the flight. The strangest thing was, I overloaded my hand carry luggage because I was carrying a heavy coat to Thailand. The flight attendant at the boarding gallery even volunteered to take the coat from me so I can board the plane and I adamantly said, "NO!" Coz the coat was ex. (Don't ask me how I know) Carrying a heavy coat to Thailand is insane enough already. And when they found that I did not have my boarding pass, they didn't allow me onboard. And I woke up while panicing I couldn't get onto the flight.

21 yrs and 2 days old.

The 21st has came and passed without much hoo hah. Was too preoccupied to think about celebrating on the actual day, had a respite on Sat evening during the last dinner with Candice, Jac and Charlene. Hehe, actually coerced Candice and Jac into horror flick, Silk. Candice was hiding her face behind her handbag, she probably only watched 1/4 of the show. Sigh. Hahaha. Jac didn't find it too disturbing though. The chilli crab pasta at Creation is simply superb! I HAVE to eat it a few more times before leaving Sg. I MUST. Unfortunately I got no pics again. My camera was out of batt this time round.
Other than that, the whole weekend was spent in church. Starting from Friday evening. Feel kinda drained. I have resolved that I should stay back after school to study in the resource room and keep my weekends free in the event that something comes up... ... Anything can happen.
Won't say that nothing happened in church, but I rather not blog about it. The most striking thing that I've heard during service today was, " All battles belong to God. So are you on His side?" It's comforting to know that God is the one Who's fighting, not me, so I just have to try my best and stay on the right side of the fence. AKA studying when I should. One of the battles that I'll be facing will be the impending exams. However, there are battles which I wonder belong to God. I guess if they are not battles for me, then He will end the struggle by closing the door once and for all. This has happened several times, with alot of grief on my part.
Still struggling with thoughts and feelings everyday, I feel out of place easily, but I don't feel too bothered by it anymore. Coz, I'm not the only one that feels this way. I can be in room full of people, but I am alone. (Still happens.) Strangely, some people in the room are feeling the same way too, but refuse to tear down the walls they built around themselves and complain no one cares, no one bothers when they don't let others in. So, I can only say that I'm lonely because I choose to be. By putting on a stony face and looking as welcoming as an ice cube it's no wonder to be alone. I'm not saying that only smiley faces matter (but it sure helps), it's about being open. I'm not the most open book around, but I sure am trying.

I lost my 21st birthday dinner photos... *sob!!*

Got a feeling you all are going to kill me or go, "Hai, wasted." My camera really self-deleted all the photos! Darn. Anyways, to sum up what I have lost in words.
Had dinner with Germ and Jas at Fish & Co. Took alot of silly photographs while waiting for Jas and a table. All gone. Sigh. Then they sabohed me and the video clip was lost. If you want to know what the saboh is go celebrate your birthday at Fish & Co to find out. Yupz. Not telling :p
Went for steamboat the next day with Na and Tengz. All lost. Boo Hoo. Was looking forward to uploading the pics. :(
Karen, OCX and Yingz got me a really useful gift. A web cam! Yea! Can video conference with people back home next year :D
Thanks for doting on me anyway you dear darlings, I feel like a princess! Hahahaha....

Ms Whiny Pok

This week has been energy draining. I fall dead asleep the moment my head touches the pillow every single night. I feel sapped of all my energy and really have no clue where I spent all my time. Been a good girl and been staying home after school this week, so why am I so tired? hmmm? Perhaps it's because of the unmentionable mthly thingy. Perhaps it's because of piling, piling and piling amount of work to be cleared. I DON'T wanna do anything anymore. ARRRRRGH. Since I can't recall how or where I spent my time, maybe I've been abducted by aliens, coz it sure feels like it. Not that I've ever been abducted before. Zzzzzzz....... Ok. End of whining.
Let's see.. On Monday, I went out to watch a movie with germ. Some brainless, plotless flick that only requires you to chew on your knuckles and hide behind fingers when some character is going to be gruesomely murdered by the blood bathing countess of bathory. Heh. Yea.. The movie is called Staying alive. No lasting trauma though. Unlike some horror flicks that make your imagination run wild in the middle of the night, while you are in the loo, in the lift alone or whatever...
Helped Shalom with her stuff on Tues night. Her mum made luo han guo! Yay! Just what I really really really needed. Coz my throat was dying on me again. I wonder if I'll become mute one day?? I keep getting throat infections so often. It's not normal. :S And I finally went to the skin centre to rescue my skin. Ended up with antibiotics and creams. Hope they'll work.... Coz I can't take it anymore. Mum is driving me nuts by probing into my pimples. Yeow. Please please please go away, so that people will STOP staring at my face. Especially Mum. Argh.
My prof wanted to talk to me so that he could write me a testimonial for my application to GIP scholarship.. And so I went to his office. Anticipating difficult interview type questions. In the end, I think he talked more than I did. Hahaha...Had a really great time talking to him, never had a teacher who was willing to take time out to get to know me. We chatted for 2 hours and went for dinner. He gave me quite alot of advice and it's interesting to know more about the profs too. He's so grandfatherly :D I guess I'm really impressed that my prof being an acclaimed scientist is concerned about us little shrimps who are no where near to being a scientist. He's got tons of assignments to mark, research papers to edit and etc... But, he took time out to talk to me. Wow. I'm impressed. If I ever reach where he is, I'll remember to do that for someone else too.
Another cousin of mine is leaving Singapore to work in Michigan, somewhere in the US. Went for his farewell party and met up with the rest of the family. Cher, Nick, Ah ee!! I really miss the Tan family.
Everything's changing. Though I wish somethings didn't.

Not so big oooooh....

The long awaited dinner finally happened yesterday, the JC clique finally reunited. Thanks to moi. Nah, thanks for squeezing time out although there's hardly time to come out, especially YL. NUS people are so much more busier than us. I know you all will hate me, coz I only have one so-called mid term paper which is all mcqs. But, I will have many more assignments to do and all of them are individual work. In a way, it's a good thing as individual work somehow means less hassle.
We went out for dinner at Big 'O'. Quite disappointing as the price was rather exorbitant for such small portions. Ah, what to do? Big 'O' is only famous for their cakes ba. I have learnt my lesson. At least the cakes weren't disappointing. :D

4 happy girls and 3 yummy cakes!

Found it funny (haha) that yl, wy and jx were trying so hard to pretend that they weren't choosing a bracelet for me. First, found it weird how come Yl suddenly wanted to buy a bracelet, then there was all that no so subtle whispering and evasive talking. Hahahaha. Still, I love the bracelet they got for me. It's so giraffee!! Hahahaha. And the card is identical to the birthday card my uni friends gave me on my 18th birthday. My friends all think alike. Heh heh. Funny funny.

Pressie from my dearies!
More pics @
http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=183&id=227800168&l=f2b86

It's all in this grey-jelly like thing we call a brain.

Been trying to memorise this verse, " Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12: 1-2.

And as I was memorising, I wondered how could my mind be transformed?? I read this book, "Phantoms in the Brain". Apparently, it was found that people's minds could literally change, by some sort of unexplainable occurence. As stated in the book "seizures" or repeated electrical bursts that open "new" channels permanently. Due to these "new" pathways for the transmission of electrical impulses in the brain, it was found that spiritual people responded more to spiritually related words, pictures, etc.. And their response to sex and violence decreased. Strange huh?

It convinces me that God is truly the One at work to transform the way we think, feel, etc... Where else can these mysterious life-changing electrical sparks come from? Some things are just unexplainable.

It never rains but pours.

It's rather sad that my 3 month old Zen player has spoilt. The FM radio has NO reception even when the player is in open field. Sigh. 2-3 weeks without my player, how am I gonna live without any music??!! Well, I could do without the FM radio, but why shortchange myself when I've got 1 yr warrenty, after all i bought the player over ipod because it has radio and voice recorder. So.. Yea..A little pain for a good cause.
But I am sad.... No music... :'(
Starting to look at winter clothes too. Took this picture in the winter clothes shop. Found it quite cute. Hehe. The hat can keep my ears warm.


Played host to Shalom's friends on Sunday, it was fun getting to know new people. Janice said that I look 15... Hahahaha. If only. Hope that they'll drop by again to visit soon. Oh well, school starts again. At least I've finished typing my CV by cutting, pasting and adding new information. Wonder what Bose will write about me... He's a really nice prof though, not all profs will write a testimonial for you.

We finally went for Nokia Starlight Cinema!! Was it romantic. Haha. But, the movie? Not. We went on horror night, the movie on Tuesday was Darkwater (English version). The ghost looked rather human in our opinion, not like the Jap movie ghosts. Some parts were rather scary, even though we were sitting in an open field. Hey! It was dark alright? Haha. Could hardly see what we were eating. Each of us contributed to the potluck. Ereen was the best! She got us pizza! Hahaha. Tim and Isaiah brought curry and sardine puffs respectively. There was kueh, samosas and more.. I got cheesy curry chicken and calamari from fish and chippy express, but by the time we started munching they were all soggy.. :( Not that nice anymore. Sharon came but she had to leave early though.

Out there in the field.
More photos @
http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=172&id=227800168&l=41e80

Other than that... I've been climbing the hill everyday to the office to settle my application to GT... Very good exercise. Not that I did want to in this horrible haze. Stepped out of amtech after ESL meeting today and I felt like I was in some fog infested place, but the fog smelt burnt of course and gave me a sore throat. Sigh.. What's going in Indonesia?! I wish they would stop burning trees. Can't wait for the smog to go away. Wonder if I'll leave before the smog or will the smog leave first? Hopefully, the 2nd option happens.

Big spender.

So many things to do!!! Aaaaaah!!! But, I'm not accomplishing much. Blogging is one way to escape. :P
Went down to Chinatown to look for good travel deals to Hong Kong today with Gie and Yammie. After going to a couple of agencies in the same building the flat rate for HK is around 600++ .... Which is ex. So, we didn't book tickets for HK. Instead, we booked tickets for Taiwan! Which also amounted to 625. Oh man, I feel so guilty. Parents aren't exactly happy. Taiwan seems like a better deal as the hotel rooms are relatively cheaper and we get more value for money. Yea... Still... Ouch. Just went to Bangkok not very long ago... Probably spent close to 600 also... Yikes. Wonder how much I'll spend this time??? The main point of going there is to get some winter wear, which I maybe able to find in Taiwan in that season? Not forgetting that I still have to get tickets, that'll cost 2000+ to fly to Atlanta in Jan. Hai. Really. Broke. My 21st birthday is coming, anyone care to buy me an airticket? Hehe..
Still, I am very EXCITED to go to Taipei!!!! Hahahahahahahaha... Shilin here I come! Can't wait for Dec to come around. I'll be doing quite alot travelling for the next 1/4 of the year. So cool! Taiwan, US and Canada. Think my nightmare will come after my exchange, no more travelling until I settle down in a stable job. Which hopefully, by God's grace, be in a research lab. I sure can hope, can I?
Was sending an email to a prof just now, was wondering where my CV was and stumbled on some old personal statements I've written. Found them seriously cheesy. I'm comforted that my writing now is probably less chessy and more brief. No wonder Germ can't stand me sometimes, coz she hates cheese.
1 practical, 2 tutorials, 1 assignment and countless readings to do... Tell me where to start...

Maybe unattached and unwanted this Dec.

Yet to be attached to a lab this Dec holidays, so all scientists out there, I'm up for grabs! I'll make your gels and run them, make buffers for free!!! In return for working experience in the lab and to catch a glimpse at your interesting experiments. Ok.. I really wish to go to the lab this Dec before school starts again.
Oh no. I can't really recall what I've been doing this week. This is how busy I am. Ok.. I went for dance and my classmates except for Boon all flew my aeroplane. Almost died doing the scissors...How I miss them.
On Friday, went for ESL and surprised Mel at the MRT station. Haha. OCX was funny, flapping out infront of Mel like that.. Haha.
Sat was Secell's 1st ML!! And we used the new church building in Amtech. It's nicely renovated, from an empty warehouse to 3 halls and 6 rooms. Much bigger than what we used to have.
Sun. Church and dinner with the family. We (Geraldine, Cheryl, Karen and me) trooped to Huijun's house for lunch after service. Her mum and aunt were very nice, very hospitable!! Quite embarrassed coz we went over at the last minute, however there was more than enough food! Huijun's house has a really nice view and her block of apartments isn't the run-of-the-mill HDB flats. Very different. Dad treated Uncle Steven for dinner at the Sze Chuan restaurant at Seletar Hills.. Really spicy... No complaints about the durian pudding though :D

In some kind of mood.

This poem by James Fenton kinda appealed to me, this isn't my work (disclaimer!)

Nothing

I take a jewel from a junk shop tray,
And wish I had a love to buy it for.
Nothing I choose will make you turn my way,
Nothing I give you will make you love me more

I know that I’ve embarrassed you too long,
And I’m ashamed to linger at your door.
Whatever I embark on will be wrong,
Nothing I do will make you love me more.

I cannot work. I cannot read or write.
How can I frame a letter to implore.
Eloquence is a lie. The truth is trite,
Nothing I say will make you love me more.

So I replace the jewel in the junk shop tray
And laughingly pretend I’m far too poor.
Nothing I give, nothing I do or say,
Nothing I am will make you love me more.

Ok.. More stuff...
The Heart Of The Matter by Don Henley
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined...
People filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I guess
Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out,
I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
ForgivenessEven if, even if you don't love me anymore
There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
ForgivenessEven if, even if you don't love me anymore
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So I'm thinkin' about forgivenessForgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Stories, it's all there in the stories

Graduated from Lindy 2! Haha. Apparently, Lindy 3 is going to be more of variation and improvisations that will largely depend on me, rather then being taught basic rigid steps. Sounds so artsy fartsy... But, that's how it is. Improvisation is definitely fun-ner considering that we already know the basics. Which also means I can choose not to go for lessons every week. At the moment, I think I still can go for lessons, but once October rolls by.... I can kiss lindy hop good bye. :'( Wonder if GT has lindy hop?
Finally watched Forbidden City on Friday, Jas bought the 2nd cheapest tics, which weren't cheap at all.... As expected, the stage was still kinda small...
Itsy bitsy props.
Couldn't see any of their faces on stage, was trying to spot my dance instructor on stage. I guess she was there, coz I heard her voice. I'm really happieee that I finally got to watch the musical, although I have the soundtrack, but watching it is a whole different story. I can really feel the emotions (anger, joy, despair, etc..) behind each song and piece the whole story together. Could kinda piece the story together by listening to the soundtrack, but there were a few missing parts, so watching the real thing gives it new meaning. The SSO was fantastic! It wouldn't have been as nice without them playing. Went over to Jazz @ South bridge after a dinner at Mc's... Yea. Mc's... Heh. Some expats were jamming and boy were they good! The saxaphone and bass took turns to play solo. They best part is.... thay played impromtu. So cool. Enjoyed listening to them play, definite ear candy.
And. I am still sick. My throat is dying. Went to the doc's, got more medicine today and turned up for Candice's Bday dinner. HAha. :p Was raining heavily today, instead of steamboat, it became buffet. Proceeded to chill at Giraffe's.. Been chilling out too much man... Which reminds me... What am I gonna do for my 21st??? I am a lazy pok.

Singapore Dreaming

Courtesy of Jason Tay, we (Karen, Daniel, Phillip, Arjun, Isaiah, Matz and I) got free tics to attend the gala premier for the local movie, "Singapore Dreaming". Thought it was gonna be another Jack Neo-type kind of show. But, nope it was better than I expected. Guess because the producer wasn't Jack Neo this time round? Heheh. Woffles Woo (infamous plastic surgeon), Woo Yen Yen and Colin Goh. This proves that being a doctor doesn't stop you from doing other stuff also. I mean heck, I've got a rocker lecturer who jammed at the same club as U2.
Well.. Anyway, the plot was, pretty run-of-the-mill, about 5Cs... But, seriously what else is the general population interested in other than the 5Cs??? Perhaps this explains why our plots can only go this far. Kinda identified with 2 characters. (What to do? I'm a typical Singaporean wat. Maybe not exactly that general. ) The elder sister and the guy's girlfriend. I guess I'm the sort of person who will give up everything for someone she loves. Even if it means getting hurt in the end. I guess she had suspicions that her boyfriend was stringing her along, but I guess when you really love someone you just want to give the person your best. You choose to practice selective vision even if you know that person does you wrong. Anyways, I thank God that I haven't met anyone as horrible as that guy in the movie. Yep, that guy was really horrible to the point of cruelty.

Colin Goh, Woo Yen Yen & Woffles Woo @ the
end of the show.

Feeling weaker everyday

It hasn't been an idyllic week. There's a mountain of work and I really don't know where to start this time. It's the 5th of week of school and I've yet to attend 1 plant lecture this sem. This is VERY bad. I did wake up in time, but felt that my day was going to be so long that I fell right back into bed again. Lately, I keep feeling that the day just goes on and on, activities keep lining up right one after another, there's never an end to anything.
I came down with fever on Tuesday night and the aches kept me up the whole night. Started hallucinating that I was in neurobio tute and the prof was asking me questions. Could remember the chim questions and how I couldn't answer them and how the prof was spewing out all the ans. Neurobio is making me neurotic. Keep missing the 8.30am lessons because I feel so tired.
It's only the 5th week!!!! I've never been this messed up in uni before. Guess it's a 3rd year thingy. I've been warned by my friends anyway, just couldn't imagine that things will be this bad.
Many people, events and circumstances bog me down. I feel pressured and tied down. Other than God, there doesn't seem to be anyplace or person that I really want to run to now. I can't seem to find solace anywhere. Being in school reminds me of certain things, being with certain people remind of other things... The best part is, I feel that I'm not close enough to Him. No time to talk to Him because I'm too busy doing other stuff.
Can't say the whole week was one big doozy. There were happier stuff too! Must say that Thursday was the best day, today isn't that bad too. Went for dance (love dancing) and met the snackies later to chill out at cozy canopy. Stocked with lotsa snacks for lects now! Haha And Matz gave each of us a personalized door hanger. Snackies rule!!!! Today because of the company and dinner :) Yummy toast.
I left the cashcard with 10++ dollars in the photocopier machine again. 2nd time this has happened.... Heartache...

Snackies @ Cozy Canopy

Can't tell the difference between night and day

Woo. I've slept 8 hrs after coming back from cycling and I'm wide awake now. Feels as though I'm suffering from jet lag. It'll be cool f I could lay my hands on some melatonin now and the only way is to extract it from some other human brain. Hehehe.. Ok.. I sound mad.
Buttaches. Strangely, my legs aren't hurting.
I've been busy, busy, busy, busy...... Not even going for tuition tomorrow because I need to rest and settle my own work. Which I doubt can ever be finished, yet they must be. Really glad that Wy is willing to take over my classes, hope my kids won't scare her off. Though I will have less to spend.. I think it's worth it. I need to rest. Speculating with Candice and Angie if we could go to Hong Kong during the Christmas break, hopefully we will be able to get a job in the lab that will finance this little shopping getaway. Haven't really told mum about my intentions because I've just travelled to Bangkok like a month ago, don't think she'll be very pleased to know about me travelling again.
I guess my emotions are more settled now, but occasionally it goes off the kilter when I remember things or when unbidden thoughts float across. Despite everything, I miss the old days. Nobody can ever replace anybody I suppose. Feeling rather helpless over the internal struggle to forgive and forget versus hanging on to the hurt.
Last cell lunch tomorrow, Matz's cell is evolving. I really hope one day I can be as close to my cell members just as we've been as close.

http://ntu.facebook.com/album.php?aid=89&l=06ed1&id=227800168

The link above leads to the photos taken during the field trip.

I'm so sleepy and completely full. Hahaha. I'm a big fat pig. Gained back all the weight I lost, I guess Bangkok and snacking in school really helped.
The field trip was a pretty mild trek up Bukit Timah hill, look at the pics to know what we were up to. Pictures can speak a thousand words. Saw things from the plant biologist's viewpoint and suddenly the nature reserve doesn't seem so boring anymore, if only my prof could speak louder. He's really soft spoken. Though he talked quite alot, I could only catch snatches of what he was saying. Kinda wasted.
Candice, Jac and I rewarded ourselves by going for a heavy lunch after the trek at Waffletown. Luuurve the waffles man, fresh waffles and whipped cream, so sinful. Guess I was half-asleep throughout the whole thing. Still got tutes to complete for tomorrow... *yawn*
Oh yea, I guess the fact that it's raining now after lunch isn't helping very much. Haha.

Feelings ain't enough, but God is.

Won't deny that I've been hurt, angry, sad and bitter. I'm just not very nice to be with when I feel this way. It's like as if I'm PMSing permanently. I've been asked for how long can I stay this way? I don't know how long, but what else is there for me to do? It's a lousy feeling.
Which brings to the point, why am I not applying anything that I've learnt from the Bible now???? Is there anyway I can see things from a whole new perspective? Well, only if I stop being angry and choose to see things from God's viewpoint. I can choose to believe that I am not ______ enough, I can choose to blame myself... (Which is all I have been doing.)I want to stop being bitter, but I don't know how to. Which in the meantime, I hope I won't do anything that I'll regret doing or saying later. Praying is all I can do now.

Depressing matters aside, school's been crazy.. Insufficient sleep for me. Not productive. Just doing tutes alone is all I can manage to do, which means I haven't been doing my readings. Bought the textbooks for decorative purposes.
Sorry dear readers, I still sound depressing right? Haha. I promise to be less depressing. Read on!

Going to Bukit Timah Hill for my lab.. Hmm.. This sounds fun though. Pick leaves up? Dear God, please let it not rain, k? Heh, university students going on a field trip to Bukit Timah. Haha. Looking forward to lunch after lab though, good food galore round the area. I'm glad that I have equally yau qwee friends Hahaha.

Tired.

You know when you are really tired when you don't want to do anything anymore. You feel disconnected from everyone and you try so hard to stay connected. You are there, yet you are not. Slowly, people realise that you are not there at all and all they have is an empty shell that pretends to be you.
I'm sorry for being this way. I'm sorry if I let anyone down. I'd really love to be enthusiastic and chirpy, but at the moment I'm weighed down. I'd really love to share your burden, but I can't focus very well.
It seems like a crime to infect people with sadness. Which is why I feel really bad that I carry my burden everywhere, the atmosphere becomes gloomy with whoever I'm with. I really try to lighten up, but I'm too upset to stay bubbly for long. If I haven't been too gloomy around you that's good, but my fuel is running low.
I need joy. I need laughter. I need love. I need rest. I need peace. I need a way out. I need acceptance. I need to stop blaming myself. I need God.

Another day has come and gone away.

Went to extract the 2nd tooth today, mouth is literally in a bloody mess again. Wondering why the bleeding hasn't stopped? Didn't catch a nap the last time and it stopped even faster. Thought napping and keeping still will help it to clot faster. Woke up with a patch of blood on my pillow. Eeeew. Thinking back, I was much more drama about the 1st tooth, for well, being the 1st tooth I guess. Didn't talk much about being scared this time either, perhaps I had too much on my mind to worry about it. Also partly, there isn't really anyone to whine to anymore who will bother give me the extra attention. :p I'm whiny. Haha. Things are so different now. Don't know why things turned out this way and I wish they didn't. Still coming to terms things that have happened lately, inexplicably a little moody, etc.. It's rather interesting to know that I still feel the same way towards him, not very unexpected though. Seems so complicatedly simple. I've already taken my own stand, will keep to it and not compromise for something less. It was a mistake to accept, knowing that things weren't exactly that simple, being all too eager to take a shortcut and ended up unhappy, making things worse. It's rather tempting to take something hard and bonk it over my head. Ok, shall stop playing the blame game. Not talking about something more, but fundamental communication, there are some issues that need to be worked out not just discussed. At the moment, doubt anyone is really up to it. Things happen, leave them and communication breaks down, feel like I'm worlds apart, because of whatever that has happened.

Other than that.. I've got 3 tutes due tomorrow and have yet to do even 1!!! How dead am I?? Hmm.. You can't blame me actually, I only had the lectures yesterday and I spent the whole of yesterday evening trying to match my subjects for the next semester in Georgia. Which I miserably failed at doing. Ended up writing emails to the profs over there. Hope they'll reply. If not I'm seriously in a fix. There is a serious lack of time. The girl's gotta rest also.

Yesterday was nothing short of a series of unfortunate events, my shirt tore and my birks snapped consecutively... Thank God nothing went wrong with my skirt. Though it almost got stained...

Mummy and I

You probably think I'm mad for blogging this. But, out of some kind of odd inspiration, I just wanna say I really love my Mum. Though she's not the most understanding person on Earth and always tells me to do something about my face, I know she really cares about me. She's always there when I need her.(well provided she can answer) She lets me fall down on my own and yet is there to pick me up when I need it. Cheers Mummy, though I highly doubt you even know about the existence of my blog. Haha.

Mummy and me
(probably look like that in 30 plus years...)

Metanoia

Metanoia
The following excerpts from Father Paul's Homilies explores the many subtleties of this Greek word. Metanoia, a Greek word meaning a change of mind. A radical revision and transformation of our whole mental process. That change of mind is something whereby God takes center place in our consciousness, in our awareness, and in our minds. Metanoia means a new mind. About what? About who we are. ...If tonight you're hearing with your heart, it's time for metanoia. It's time for a new mind about yourself and about life. Metanoia is the idea of the need for conversion. And this is then recognizing that we don't know, truthfully don't know, God and truthfully don't feel ourselves as God intends us to. We really need metanoia, which is allowing the grace of God to enter into our lives and teach us how to see ourselves and how to come to the true self. When the authors wrote in Greek about what Jesus really said, they all agree that he preached metanoia. ...one idea is conversion or transformation. Change of heart and, literally, change of mind. "The kingdom of God is at hand," he says, meaning it's at arm's length. But in order for you to grasp it, you have to be able to undergo something like this: a conversion and transformation and change of heart and mind Metanoia is a new-minded way of looking at life. And, in the broader sense, contrition involves a change of mind. And that is really what is meant by the Greek word, "metanoia," whereby we start thinking anew about everything. So to bring our thoughts into a godly, godlike form, that's part of contrition; that's part of metanoia. So I need to really find out what God really is and who God is and what God wants for me. He preached the need for conversion. Now conversion in Greek is "metanioa." And what is "metanoia"? Unfortunately, in English there's not one word that translates it very well. We could say repentance, but that doesn't catch the meaning of "metanoia." "Metanoia" literally means "beyond the mind." So it's an idea of stretching or pushing beyond the boundaries with which we normally think and feel. Now when we push beyond the boundaries what we are doing is we are allowing God really to take an active role in our formation. Repentance, metanoia in Greek, really refers to a complete change in perspective, a change in goal, a change in life itself, really! It means new mindedness, new change of mind and change of heart in the Hebrew sense of heart---how you think. And that means letting go of rigidities because God has to teach us all new about God. And what we have to learn basically is how trustworthy God is, and how in every single situation, no matter what it is, no matter how painful, God is to be trusted. God is always present. So God is always inviting us into more life, and so to be questioning our own ways and our own habits is a good thing--and letting go of rigidity. Thus his entire mission was begun by announcing the need for metanoia, sometimes translated "repentance." But repentance does not mean simply regretting some action or some word. Repentance means completely turning around one's life and one's being. A change, a profound change, of mind and even character. In the Bible, in the New Testament, this change is called "metanoia," often translated repentance. But it's not a backward-looking glance of regret; it's a forward-looking vision of hope. Metanoia is a new openness to what is truly objective, beyond ourselves, our view of life, how we put the data together.
From:
http://www.stjosephdg.org/parish/about/metanoia.html

I need more metanoia!!!

Sawadeeka! Back frm Bangkok

And I am tired. It was fun though :) Overall, it was a good shopping trip, food fest and eye-opener though. Hope to get some pics from Diya and Frances to post up soon. I have too few pics on my own camera, all thanks to my laziness. Heh. Shall elaborate more on the trip when I get the pics ya.
Anyway, I haven't really gotten any rest eversince I got back. Everyday I sleep an average of 4 hrs.... Not to mention that I feel emotionally drained too. That's it. I'm tired. I can't go on anymore, it's time I stopped and take a few steps back. Go get some air.
How do I feel? All I want is to be loved, have someone waiting eagerly for me, instead of the other way round. To be wanted. Not just to want. Perhaps that's why I feel so drained and glum, I need some input of TLC. I feel like as if I am giving all the time. Drained...

An ode to my tooth and about little things

I lost my tooth today, without much fanfare or adieu it was conveniently chucked in the dentist's rubbish bin. I have big gap in my mouth now, feels funny. It was faithful companion, never complained about all the chewing that I made it do. And all that gourmet food! Sigh, I miss that tooth and soon it's mirror image will accompany it in a few days time...
Haha.. Ok. That was an ode to my tooth and the other.
The little things in life count alot and I guess it's a matter of appreciating them. An sms, an uncomplicated gesture, a thoughtful gift. Let me say I Do appreciate everything. Maybe I've been blind sometimes. What can I do for you?

Is it 1 or 2 more weeks to sch??

Heheh. It's actually 1 week to the reopening of school.. But.. I'm going to Bangkok during the National Day week! Never done this before :p Ah well, heck it'll only mean missing 1 or 2 1st lectures anyway. Nothing very important lost out on. Can't wait to eat @ Swensen's in Bangkok, super duper cheap sundaes!!!! Enjoy browsing at Chatuchak flea market too, it's gotta be one of the largest flea markets in the world. I think I should consider learning Thai, since I keep going to Thailand for somekind of strange reason. I just went Phuket last year and the year before it was Bangkok also. In Bangkok, the locals thought I was local too. Hmmm.... I don't mind being mistakened for being one of them, if I could have skin as smooth as theirs. Heheh.
Gives me the heebie jeebies that I'll be in Yr 3 once the Sem starts... So old. The seniors were right to say that Yr 3 is THE most packed one in BS. I thank God that I'll only be around for 1 sem in Yr3, I'll be heading for Atlanta!!!! It's been confirmed for now :D In case you wondering why I don't sound thhhaaat excited, it's because I have this belief that NTU might screw things up for me. So, I'll remain neutral until they start feeding me the details, which I believe won't happen until later part of the year which is in Nov.
I'm breaking the glass wall the separates me from the rest of the world. I'm not gonna stand there like an idiot anymore. Dare to dream, dare to act.

Passing thoughts.

Lyrics by Joss Stone:
I hope you'll understand
That I can't always come when you call
Understand everybody has their faults
Please understand not to worry who I'm with or what I do
Cause I understand that I'm in love with you
Do you understand that I'm in love with you

Time, decisions.. Anything to do with that ticking bio clock??

Sometimes I wish I were younger. Eversince I was 19, I felt that each passing year meant a drastic change to the people around me and things..
What do I mean???
Last year, I was on my way to da pao lunch home and I thought I mistook this pregnant woman for my pri sch classmate. You know how pregnant women get abit swollen?? So, I couldn't really be sure if she was her. A few days ago, I was again on my way to da pao lunch, when this time, I am really sure the girl-woman pushing the baby pram was my pri sch classmate! Unfortunately, she didn't seem to recognize me or didn't want to stop to talk.. She was someone that I invited to my birthday parties once upon a time....
Another thing is... I just read from my friend's blog that my sec sch classmate is now married.

I am shocked.

I am only 21, they are only 21................. Is it me? Or is everyone in a hurry these days??

Sometimes, I feel like I am put behind a glass wall... Someone tells me something and I don't know why I don't really react. I heard it, I want to do something, but in the end I don't and the impression it leaves is I don't care. Or I respond and feel that I've not done enough. Lack of expression??? Too lazy??? Somethings have to change, to show that I do care about what's going on around here.

It's taking forever....

Currently I'm downloading the Windows Service Pack 2 cause 1 expires in Oct.... And it's taking forever, short of eternity.
Anyway, just came back from the dentist. This time it's really painful taking out the wires and putting in new ones. Feels as though I've had all my teeth extracted when she was unclipping my brackets and clipping it to secure the new wire. At least the annoying sharp bracket is gone, no more cutting my lips. No kidding, it really felt like my teeth were extracted. I was pratically clutching onto the dental assistant's hands, but I guess it was still bearable because I could still remind myself not to clutch too tightly.... My death grip was on the poor cushion though. Owie. Think tooth extraction will hurt lesser because of the anaesthetic. Speaking of which, 2 teeth will be removed during my next visit, to further push in the protruding front teeth. Owie, owie, owie......
Just received photos from my colleague, who took the photos :) Some photos to remember that I've worked at breadtalk and the nice people I've known.

ZhenZhi's Bday & My last day

And this is what we do after lunch: Head to the playground! (Just kidding)

Swing!

My Zen: Vision M has finally arrived on Wednesday and its arrival has heralded the start of my unhealthy sleeping hours. On the 1st day, didn't sleep until 3am and had to go to work the next day and of course I was late. The 2nd day was the same story. I really wanted to download all my music and videos in player!! And well.. To my utter disappointment.. I couldnt' convert DVDs to Mpeg format for storage in the player :( couldn't watch my new DVDs on the go.
Still trying to figure out.
My faithful shuffle has been taken by my dad whom I doubt knows how to use it at all. It was a fantastic jogging companion when I jogged alone, pity my new Zen player is too bulky to take on jogging trips. Jogging is gonna be a silent activity from now on. Like when was the last time I went jogging anyway?? Dance has taken over my form of exercise.
I'm addicted to swing.
The turns, the quicksteps, the fluid motion of the dancers (can't say so for myself, hardly fluid!)
Partner dancing is fun, fun, fun! It's challenging and whenever I can do the dance step or dance without mishap to my partner's feet, I get this sense of achievement. ButI have this really bad habit, I'm too busy looking at my feet to notice my frame or my partner. OOps... But, so far all my classmates have been quite encouraging even when I mess up. The guys definitely have it worse, coz all girls have to worry about during dancing is looking good. Thing is, I feel free when I'm dancing. Free to move, free from my thoughts, everything's gone. All's that left is the music and whoever I'm dancing with. I used to have the notion that partner dancing is something really personal or weird to do with a total stranger. But, I guess it doesn't really matter. It's kinda like a handshake, you don't have to know a person to shake somebody's hand. It' s not something that's only meant for couples.
Hope I get to stay for swing fest this week. Swing fest is an after class dance thing where people from all levels come to dance the night away. Minus the alcohol and disco lights, they play pleasant music and people dance really stylishly. Danced with an experienced dancer once, I was so lost.... .... Kinda embarassing too, coz I really didn't know what step he was trying to guide me into. I don't follow leads very well. Talk about communication problems.
My braces are getting to be less of bother as each day passes, that's a really good thing. If it's still as uncomfortable, I really don't know what I'll do. There's still this sharp bracket that keeps cutting my lip. Darn annoying. Can't believe that 6 weeks has went by, it's time to visit the dentist again on Wed and I'll definitely tell her to do something about that troublesome bracket.
Oh yea, and I've stopped working at BT. Last Fri was my last day at work. Took some photos with my colleagues and my boss still wants me to come back if I decide that slacking is too boring. I'm surprised. Haha. Hardly have I ever got employers who invite me back. It rarely happens. Met some nice people there, although the culture at BT is..... errrrggh. It's not a place whereby you can smell the aroma of freshly baked bread or get endless supply of bread. I've been deceived by the name Breadtalk. The turnover rate of staff there is so high that, I've worked longer than some of the permanent staff.
And tis the lighter side of life.

One more week.

I'm happy to say that I got no plans next week, I finally have no outstanding dates. Haha. Like I owe people dates. Like real. Something about planning makes things suffocating sometimes, "Oh I got to do this then this then that." Looking forward to bumming around at home doing nothing after I stop working next Friday. My boss seems a tad sad that I'm leaving so soon, she always gives me the impression that she doesn't want me to leave coz she keeps saying that I'm leaving too soon. I guess this is the 2nd longest job I've held on to. The longest was about 3 months, mammogram tagging remember? That really killed my brain cells, literally just peel and paste all day long.
Working at BreadTalk has really been an exprience, especially since I'm doing the job of an accountant! It has been really stressful having to learn from the scratch about debit and credit. In fact, my last week at BT isn't gonna be pleasant at all.... Coz it's closing time. Argggggh. More stress, more spread sheets, no snacks annnnd still no free bread. Haha. I'll never look at BT bakeries and Food republic, restaurants at Wisma the same way anymore. Everytime I buy something from these places, I'll remember poor sots like me who had to look through every invoice and receipt that passed through these stalls. AND the bread is..... nvm. Actually, it isn't that bad that they don't give out free bread. Let's just say BT is really good at cutting cost. Asking an admin girl to be in charge of projects is so thrifty, since well, one person can do everything. Haha. Aren't we all multi-talented?
In the end my brain cells are still killed, well in a more productive way I suppose. They die anyway, regardless of what I do. I think and therefore they die. Morbid.
I love my dance classes, though they are difficult. I can do pretty cool moves now, but I need a partner. Hai. Bummer. Alright, there are also some moves that I can practice on my own. I wish I were the guy. Darn. Guys get to lead. How unfortunate :( The guys don't really like to lead all the time either, coz it's really stressful. My poor classmate was sweating it, he practically turned me dunno how many rounds before he changed to another move. By then I was literally and mentally spinning. Haha. Not really his fault, basic steps all involve turning and more turning. Only doing the jockey doesn't require turning and that's all we know. Wanna learn more steps, so that we all can stop spinning. :s

When it comes to downloading I'm hopeless.

After a jam packed week of going out, dance and work, I came home yesterday to really surf the internet for a good 2- 3 hrs but guess what?? I just had to go and try downloading movies off the Internet and when I switched off my firewall, some virus, warped programme, the kind that autodownloads killed my computer. It practically hung everytime I opened it. So I spent the gd 2 to 3 hrs in the wee hrs of this morning trying to reformat my lappie. I did it, but all my stuff, music, photos, work I've done for the past 2 yrs in Uni are all GONE!!!!!!!! ALL GONE!!!!! ARGH!!!!! :'( I wanna cry already.... All my precious photos... My music.....
I guess serves me right.... But it's so unfair!!!! Other people have no problems downloading stuff, but me? I always have lotsa problems. I think it's time to do something about my firewall. It's useless. It's so inflexible. And ermm.. Stop downloading stuff?? Ha. C'est impossible. I don't know God what are You TELLING me???? Stop "stealing" people's stuff? :'( I don't know, I'vew never really considered it stealing because I only listen to it myself, I don't sell it to other people and mke any profit out of it ya noe? Or maybe I have really messed up morals when it comes to copyright. Hai.

Before I know it, it's over.

I haven't the slightest clue why I have no time at all. I haven't packed my room at all, so last semester's notes and textbooks are still happily sitting on the shelf, that I have to clear to make room for new notes and textbook. I guess I've been too preoccupied working. Yup, I spend about 8hrs working, 2 hrs travelling and the rest of the time either going out, eating or sleeping. Last week, I had a bad case of flu, therefore I happily stayed at home and slept like a pig. Thank God for that. I must master my use of time. Hope that I'll be able to stop working soon, I need some time to slack before school starts.
Looking at my results, I am neither here nor there. Meaning I am neither very bad nor very good at my subjects. I guess I'm just a average joe-y. I wonder if I'm still in the running for 2nd uppers. Hmmmm... Guess I'd better buck up more eh? If I still wanna do my PhD. God help me. Eversince the A levels, I've stopped giving my all in exams. Lost all the steam to push myself to complete assignments and study. I still do my work, it's just that my heart isn't there anymore. I'm tired. Aiya, I'm just too slack now. Haha.
Went back to church to help out in packing stuff with the younger ones. Being with them makes me feel old. Haha. Feel so lethargic, they all are on the go! and I'm like I all wanna do is sit down. I guess 2 yrs ago I was still like them. Now.... I really cannot liao. Aging prematurely. Darn. I shouldn't be so lethargic. Saw some of old photos and documents. Stuff that recorded who did chairshare and why they did them, attendance, blah, blah... It wasn't so much of nostalgia for me because I wasn't in the photos or documents, it was more of discovery, looking at how things were like and how they changed. Familiar faces of friends when they were younger, very cute leh! Hahaha.
God give me more energy to catch up with the younger ones and a renewed passion for my studies......

Taking a break and not doing anything

I am really sick. Woke up this morning feeling really exhausted even though I got enough sleep, couldn't bear to drag myself off to work. Well, anyway I am down with the usual flu which has been plaguing me since I don't know when. Even my Doc says that I've been down with flu too often and too frequently. Don't know what's up with my immune system, just a few days away at camp without vitamin C pills and I'm sick. How sad. My health is dependent on vitamin c pills.
Perhaps, with insufficient rest, staying out often makes me prone to falling ill. Even when I'm not at work I can't really be found at home. I'm always out these days for all sorts of reasons.
Friends, mum, church, work, etc...
Went out with the cell and ate some really sinful warm brownie and vanilla ice cream yesterday, maybe that's why i'm in this state now haha. Not that I regret, the brownie was worth it :) I'll probably just recover in a few days anyway.
Chewing with braces is literally such a pain. Have to chew really slowly... Because it really hurts to chew. Ouch, the price for beauty as Jason Ong puts it. Well, I guess the braces help me to eat less junk food. Have a craving for dessert from the dessert shop in Bugis.... Maybe I'll drop by this Friday. Heh heh. But, no chewing on gingko nuts :(

All the catchy titles flew out of my head

Back! Back from Port Dickson after a 4 day Church camp. This year's camp was not relaxing like the past years camps. Becoz it was combined with the other churches and the other churches were holding their youth camps, therefore everything was planned back-to-back. Everyday I fell into bed exahusted. Food was almost unedible, both water and electricity went off during the camp. But, in all in all I'm happy that I heard from God Himself, got to know more people better. Was rooming with Jun, Eliz and Joey. It was kinda weird, but the main point that they split us up into cell groups comprising of people from different churches. Joined the 11-14 yr olds, thank God for Zhi Han's company. Think I would have felt really alone if she wasn't there. I'm not going to say what God told me becoz it is too personal, but whatever He told me gave me comfort and direction.
I thought I lost weight.. But I didn't really lose much.. half a kg? Sigh. Oh well. This means that my healthy weight is around there.(And i'm not telling what my weight is!! Haha) Anything less or more means bad news. My lymph nodes hurt. Still kinda tired even though I didn't go to work today. Need my beauty sleep. Zzzzzz

I can't feel my teeth.

I've finally put on braces this Wednesday. Besides the abrasions on my lips and flesh, I can't really feel my teeth and I can't bite. Can't even really bite tofu. Haha.

Definitely didn't regret pigging out the week before, it's only been 2 days of eating soupy rice and I'm feeling really bored already. Besides, I still can eat ice cream :) BUT reaaaaaally slowly. Takes about 45 min to finish my soupy rice, porridge, etc...
Went for dance yesterday and it was fun!!! Doing a partner dance is very very very very difficult.... Well. At least for lindy hop, it's the guy who does all the leading. Girls don't really need to remember the steps, as long as the guy knows what and where he's going. Still, there's a need to coordinate with the guy. Looking at the pros dance makes me wish I knew how to dance more variations. They are so cool!!! OkOk.. Patience is a virtue. Haha. So far I only know how to turn with a partner and it's already very challenging.. Haha. I wanna cut the rug :p

I swear I'm heavier.

Pigging out at Breko

And that's not all. Actually we also ordered one bowl of soup, one apricot float and banana stacko which I ate before taking any photos as evidence of my gluttony.
Ate at Pizza Hut yesterday and today it is Brewerkz. Throw in a glass of beer, fish and chips, mutton, apple galette and chicken wings. Hmmm.. Eating like there's no tomorrow. I dare say I've spent close to a hundred bucks on food, just my own share alone.
Why?
Coz it's gonna be porridge from tomorrow onwards until maybe 1 plus week later? And kinda think braces will spoil my enjoyment for food. Or maybe it might actually make me want to eat more. Haha. I guess I'm overdoing it :p
Good thing is Thursday is gonna be the start of my dance lessons, though there's a slight problem. My leg hurts a little. Hopefully I'll be fine by then.

No more school for all.

The first week at work was.... tiring. I had so many things to learn and make sense of on my own and the only pleasure that I'm at least allowed during work is eating. Bought a whole lot of snacks to store in my drawer to make myself happy during work. I literally feel faint at work and I have no idea why. Lack of sugar?Lack of blood rushing to my brains? I don't know, but I almost fainted on Friday. My colleagues probably thought I was lazing at my desk when I was feeling sick.
My colleagues are pretty interesting too, from all walks of life and totally different from my friends. I'm kinda forced to make new friends. Well, at least my colleagues are friendly and they openly talk about themselves also. There's this girl who's younger than me, really pretty, full of attitude, I kinda admire her guts. She used to work at Kbox and told us some interesting stuff that goes on in Kbox. The jugs that contain beer or water that they serve at KBox are really disgusting because drunk patrons actually puke into the jugs in a fit of nausea. Plus, the people at Kbox aren't too keen on cleaning either, sometimes cups are really dirty that even my colleague also doesn't dare to use them. Well, call me anti-social, but I only really consider one colleague as a friend and she's Vegan Haha. So yup, been eating alot of veggies.
It's also the start of the June holidays, so actually screened The March of the Penguins for my sec 1s yesterday. It was abit slow, but at least they finished watching it. So much for trying to show something related to Science that's interesting. It was the most interesting thing!! If not what, show them the magic schoolbus?? Haha actually I LOVE the magic schoolbus. Maybe I'll do that the next time.
Got a last minute invitation to go crabbing with the secellites.. Considering how much I really don't want to go in this rainy weather I will. I've comitted to be a part of them, so yup. I'll go. Just wish that they wouldn't plan things so last minute, I was looking forward to lazing around the house and resting, doing my Masterlife series today.. Argh... BUsy, busy, busy, busy.... Don't even have time to read the book I borrowed from the library about Jim Elliot.... .... Help....

I'm back from crabbing. It was fun, sinking into the swamp and all, the stuff we caught. Crabs, Prawns, Clams, earthworms big and small. However, I think it would have been more fun if I were younger. It's not really my thing to go clam digging. But, it was fun :) Got to know the secell peeps more. Er.. However, I got a small, but deep cut. Not that it really hurts, but black stuff is stuck on the flesh of my foot. Tried scraping, flushing it out with water at home, but nothing works... How? It hurts after all I did to my foot. Really hope it doesn't get infected.... ....

Gaahhh! Accounts.

I'm beat from yesterday and today. It was fun hanging out with the guys (Jerry and Leon), never played arcade for sooo long before! 3 hrs! Yup, I'm sick of the arcade now :p Then we went cycling at East Coast. Apparently there's a newly built lift for wakeboarding and water skiing, sadly we didn't see anyone attempt to go up the ramp... And we were entertained by the people taking a dunk in the water... *evil* You guys are sick lah.. Traumatized big time. h-a h-a.

Work is crazy. I thought I was going for something brainless, but turned out that they want someone who can do accounts not just data entry alone. Argggghh. Which means I gotta learn how to do accounts from the scratch because I know nuts about accounting. Learnt quite alot of stuff today. Really hope my supervisor doesn't get pissed off at me for asking her so many questions.... ..... I feel really helpless. Annndd.. No FREE bread. :( I work at breadtalk and no free bread!!!!! What a tragedy..... I have to buy biscuits to feed myself during tea break.

The truth about dawn.

I seem tolerant, patient, calm, unaffected. But I'm not like that all the time, everywhere, with anyone. Realised that I need to be more encouraging and gracious towards other people. When someone does something wrong, what do I do? I suppose I nag, find faults instead of encouraging the person to do the right thing. Why is it so difficult to encourage someone to do the right thing??? I suppose it's because I am already annoyed with them and by determining what's right and wrong I guess I've already made some judgement upon them. I mean, yes, somethings are obviously wrong, but why did they do it?? What can I do to help them?? Obviously, the most helpful thing is to make them realise what they are doing is not beneficial to them. How, how, how??? I shouldn't be so swift in judging people.
I'm not very gracious because I nag too much, tend to harbour grudges sometimes too. I guess it's because I am just human and I need time, experiences and God's word to renew, refresh my parched attitudes.

Enjoying while there's still time

Was running about half of yesterday, went for a job interview, took Xrays for my teeth and met the guys for bible study.

God sure works in unimaginable ways, I got a job on the way to the interview, instead of after the interview. Jx helped me ask around, in fact I think she's far better than any job agency. She helped me get a job the last time also. I should be paying her comission man, it's the 2nd time she's helped me get a job already!! Haha. Anyway, it's gonna be data entry at breadtalk pte ltd for a month. Alas, no free bread. I also got an offer from the interview also, after accepting the job at breadtalk, some marketing job... Which isn't what I'm really looking for, but I guess it could have been fun. No regrets about data entry though. Pay's good, job is rather brainless and stress free. It's far easier money than being a food promoter at food fest in expo. 12 hrs on your feet is NO joke! Will be starting work on Monday. Finally! I can't stand bumming around anymore.

Taking Xrays for my teeth hurts less than getting the mould done. Blame it on the horrible sore on the side of my mouth, I swear it enlarges my mouth by causing it to split. Ouch.

Bible study for cell leaders turned out to be for replacement cell leaders. All the cell leaders couldn't make it, so we the 2nd-in-charge took over. It was a good time of discussion, learning about God's word and some fellowship. Wish someone more knowledgeable was there too, it would have been more reliable. Coz the questions were quite difficult to understand.

Will spend my last few days enjoying bumming, starting with a food spree this evening with Germ, before I put on the dang braces and it'll hurt to chew. Cycling with Jerry and his tutee at East Coast on Sunday, oughta take my mind off things. Before anyone rolls their mind into the gutter, there's NOTHING between him and me, never will be. We're just friends. (If you are reading this CHeryl!! I don't need to explain things further. I know you think it's weird.)

Love is..

Everything below is not written by me. (Big Discliamer!!) I just happened to read some stuff that intrigued me and here it is.
1st Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love is not as general as everyone assumes it to be. It's not the air we breathe, that's oxygen. Love is more like that shade of blue the sky gets on warm summer days, when you look up and the trees are outlined in its brilliance. It's there - but not everyone takes as much note of it as they should, and most everyone just doesn't understand how it can be so breathtaking. Love isn't what makes the world go round, that has a bit to do with gravity. Love is more like the warm puffs of breeze that rustle by in the fall, past faces and faces, only being noticed by a select few who keep their hearts open. Love isn't a warm tingly feeling in your stomach, that's adrenalin. Love is more like the sharp sensation when you inhale on bitterly cold winter mornings, that feels like ice ripping into your nasal passages. It's sharper and more unwieldy than most would like to admit. And love isn't the sound of the ocean in a seashell, that's the circulation of blood in your ears. Love is more like the tickle of a Spring flower against your nose when you're smelling it. It's subtle and often shadowed by the lustful scent of romance.
Love is… different.

I wish I could write like that. I love the author's analogy of love. Haha.

Went to the dentist just now to get a mould of my teeth. It hurt. Though it wasn't supposed to because I have this sore at the edge of my mouth and forcing my mouth open to get the mould in hurts. I realised that my mouth is really small. The dentist had to pry my mouth open. *ouch* Almost choked on the plaster she forced into my mouth too, what a way to die. "Girl chokes to death on plaster in dentist chair." The brackets (those shiny silver metal things) will be put on about 2 weeks later. Better enjoy eating while I can, before it really hurts to eat anything but porridge. I'll probably lose weight after putting on the braces too. Wonder if I can even talk properly.

Cashless Cow

What's the biggest problem during the hols? Hmmm.. I would say the lack of money to do the things that I wanna do. If I wanna take up classes, where's the money gonna come from? I doubt my parents will fork out money for me to take dance classes. So I've gotta pay for it and who's gonna pay for the meals I'm gonna eat outside and the excessive shopping?? Me. Yup, so a holiday job is a necessary evil. Highlighted my hair brown today, thank god Mum paid for it. Initially, I wanted to bleach streaks of my hair and then dye it purple. But kinda chickened out, coz I wanted to look unique not weird. Yup. No purple streaks. :(
I need a job to shop, eat and enjoy the hols. Can't rot at home all the time.
Went to the job agency today, seems promisng and I got this dubious job interview tomorrow that's waaaay too formal for my tastes. Hopefully, I can get an internship with IBN.

I'm FREE!!!

Alright, I've gained freedom to do almost whatever I please for the next 3 mths provided that there's enough cash to do them. Which means I have to get a job. Alright any kind soul out there who has a job to recommend and think it's suitable for lil' ole me drop me a msg or something alright? I can't stand having NOTHING to do. For now, I'll enjoy myself playing SIMS till my eyes fall out and finally go visit the dentist and trim my overgrown, out-of-shape hair that hasn't been trimmed since errrm CNY? Hee. ALright, I am trying to grow my hair long ok.
I don't want to think about the results at all. PLS DO NOT MENTION the word results in front of me.
As of now, I am hungry at 1.46 am in morning. I ate enough for dinner and I'm STILL hungry.. Argh. FREEDOM!!!!

Feeling lightheaded and sleepy.. Whee! HAhaha

Finished 208. Virology. Surprisingly it went better than I thought, probably even better than 207. Felt that I could have done better for 207. Yup thank God for keeping me sane thus far, despite the crazy amounts of infomation I have to memorise!!!! Which kinda explains why I feel lightheaded after the exams. Hmm? Unloaded everything on the papers. Ask me next time what I studied and I'll go ??? That's life in uni.
I have this urge to run to the nearest KTV and sing my lungs out. I don't know why. Only thing I can lament about KTV is how weird it is to sing English songs in KTV. It's the MTV with all the scenery and skimpy 'ang moh' models that makes me wanna laugh more than sing anything. Anyone wants to go after the 3rd of May??? Cher!! (If you are reading this) I don't care! Next time you are back in SG, we cuzzies are gonna go Kbox at least once, even though I know you'll be super busy.
Suffering from sleep withdrawal symptom now, thanks to the not very peaceful sleep. Flitting in and out of consciousness. Perhaps it's that rattling skeleton in my closet that's keeping me up. Alright, no more skeletons. Heading off to catch some Zzzzzs then mug more tonight for.... 209. That crazy, overdemanding module.
Kinda CRAVE playing Sims too. I lost my original Sim CD and downloaded a free one off limewire, only problem is I can't add new objects to the game. Bummer. Hope I get my Sims 2 soon.

Where's the light at the end of the tunnel?

Where's the sunshine after the rain? HAha alright, I'll stop being so dramatic. Been trying to mug for Immune for the past few days, not very successful though. Ended up playing Sims, Roller Coaster Tycoon, surfing the Net.... Alright, I did devote about 5-6 hours of studying everyday, but why do I feel that I'm not doing enough??! 8hrs spent sleeping, 3 hrs spent munching, 5-6 hrs studying annnnd 7-8 hrs to rrreeeelaaaxx?! Argh.... Shouldn't it be the other way round?
Other than that, I think I'm pretty apathetic to things happening. Seems like I don't care enough. Somehow, I feel too weary to care. If you knew someone was dying what would you do? Even if you don't the person personally. Haven't really been praying enough for the people around me, or for myself for that matter.
My mind keeps wandering to places that shouldn't be visited and my emotions are unbalanced. I keep asking myself why I feel this way and kinda realised that I'm envious. Envious of what? I'm envious of people who are surrounded by friends 24/7, well except for sleeping time. When I think about such people, I feel really lonely. Sorry I guess this sounds kinda sick. Why can't I be like that too?? Go out in the morning, work, play until wee hrs in the morning, head home. concuss in bed and it's the next day again. I don't know what I'm trying to escape from here. Perhaps just the overwhelming loneliness I feel.

AWOL

I can't rememeber the last time I updated.. So I'm either having memory loss or it's because I really haven't updated for a long time. Came upon something today, gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling after reading it. It was a book of bestfriends coupons, chuckled while reading it. Does it sound familiar to you? Hope it does. See you soon bestfriend!! Missed ya.

Am I mugging or ??

Spent 6 straight hours mugging today. Will be back to more mugging after this break from 6 plus to 10 plus?? I feel quite tired actually, just want to plonk into bed and zzzzz...... Been listening to many songs thanks to limewire, but then... I hate the pop-ups!!! It's so irritating. That's the repercussions of using such programs. Prefer getting cds... But... I'm poor. Have to really like the songs in the CD before I can buy it. Cheryl recommended rachael yamagata. She's really good! Somehow I'm feeling rather contented. :)

L.I.F.E at NTU

Is made more bearable with friends, aka fellow sufferers in BS. I've finished my 2nd last lab report today, one more to go on Thursday. More hardship to come this month. Argh. Sometimes, I really think I'm really dumb. On my way to being a bimbo. Maybe I should bleach my hair? Hmmmm? *blink**blink**smile* Being in uni has made me dumb. :'(

Let's do the hustle!

Jac, Candice & Moi @ Cher & Fel's 21st!

Another weekend, another week passed. Been super duper busy, didn't do any revision last weekend at all. Hai. It's my fault, I know. 2 more weeks to exams... ... Argh... I'm so dead. Went to Fel and Cher's birthday party, went on an 11km hike at Macritchie and food trail. Woah. It's really time to sit down and study. I wonder if I am growing fatter. Hm....

Seems like it will never end.

I am exasperated with the neverending lab reports. Need time to revise for my exams! Argh.. I'm starting to think that my life is really unglam. Hur hur. Which probes me think what am I really living for? Hm.. I do admit that I want a glam life. So what's a glam life? Famous somebody? Alright, maybe not famous, but happening. I am starting to wonder what else am I good at other than my *ahem* not so fantastic studies. When I was 6 (i think), I wanted to become a pianist and perform on stage, heh but I was no child prodigy. I suppose I lacked the focus, you know child prodigies are very focused at what they like. Me? I can't even play anything on the piano now. Then, there was the cello. Haven't played it for years, forgotten all the basics. I feel so hopelessly stupid. Besides playing any instrument, there was also this fantasy about being a lawyer. Other than watching them debate, I didn't know what else they did. You know the glam stuff on TV... ...
Really wondering if this is the kind life I want. Graduate and try to go on to do a phD and then research in the lab for the rest of my life. Maybe discover something and in the process be so alone. I see my professors eating alone during lunch everyday, they don't really seem to talk to each other for fear of leaking out their research. It feels so lonely... I wanted to be a doctor, be surrounded by people, to be able to care for people. But, there seems to be no way to be one. I hate being alone. Every year I ask myself the same question. What do I want???
I feel that I'm being carried away, further and further away from everyone. Maybe one day when I talk, no one can understand what I say anymore.

The separation of the mind and body.

I'm typing now and I'm physically at home, but obviously my heart is somewhere else. Been staying at home to do my work or else I was in school. Well, short of getting lost in NUS again yesterday when I went in search of Yl to get my chem notes. Yup, other than that I've been slogging over 2 lab reports and tutorials, not forgetting that I keep dozing off during lectures this week. I keep feeling that I haven't gotten enough sleep, but I feel so awake at night! I should force myself to sleep by 10.30pm. The last time I really went out was Sunday. Should I be proud of myself? Still , I haven't been very productive and I'm getting quite kan cheong especially when I look at my notes and don't understand more than half of it. I AM SO DEAD!!!! I have no idea what the lecturers want this semester. Thanks to all the mumbling. They should really go for speech lessons, or get a better microphone. Argh.
Reprinted this particular lab report 3 times... Made changes till I lost count. I realised that I have no idea what I've been doing for my reports, or rather I can't remember. My brain feels like it's wrapped in cotton or should I say it feels like soup? I NEED A BREAK. Let me study and know what I'm studying.
Besides that I have fantasies about enjoying beancurd and you tiao at Yong He. Throw in durian too. *Drool* And I wanna go to this Cantonese cafe... WHen?!!!?

Normalcy

I'm finally doing what students are supposed to do. i.e. tutorials, lab reports and projects. Sometimes, life seems to be better off when it's all about work. At least, work is still under my control? To a larger extent I suppose.
I couldn't make it for SCCC and I'm wondering if I should have went because now I really cannot gauge if I can actually serve in secell. I doubt I could have spent much time there even if I went, 2-3 hrs? I really pray things will work out eventually...
Had a great time last week meeting up with my dear friends. Sheena, Teng and Yl. Nothing fanciful, just sat in KFC at Braddell reminiscing about old times and catching up with AWOL Yl. It doesn't really matter where we met, there'll always be this common bond that we shared, same experiences, those long gone loony moments. I miss them. Things can never go back though, we're all changed people, we were this way for a while and then gone. Even I am different. But, my fondness for them and those JC years still and will remain. Perhaps, one day I'll say the same about my uni life.
It's going to be all about work this week. I've had enough.

Life is strange.

I've been having alot of difficulty blogging about what I've been up to. Not that I've been up to anything... Been quite shaken by the thoughts I'm capable of thinking. Makes me want to be left alone.
Went to watch Munich. I liked it more than I thought, so did my friend. It was a dark, thought provoking movie featuring the never ending feud between the Arabs and Jews. Endless, senseless killing massacares. Well, it was pretty gory, a good reason why it was M18. Had to figure out the plot while watching, it wasn't a light show to watch, required some thinking. It starts with the killing of the terrorists and their hostage of 11 Israeli athletes. I give it 4 out of 5 stars. :)

Jam-packed

T'is the 1 week break and it hasn't been much of break. Hahaha. I can only think of 2 reasons why it doesn't seem like a break. 1. I'm so free during normal school days, therefore having a break seems to be no difference. 2. I've been so busy doing something at all times, to the extent that I feel that I haven't been resting. I suppose it's between 1 and 2. Been making full use of my time to do things that I normally don't get to do, like going to the KTV with Angie, hanging around aimlessly at Orchard, going back to NIE lib to sign up as a member and borrowed the much sought after Voet and Voet (finally!!!) going to get the uber thick textbook photocopied. SO much for copyright laws... ... I am only a poor student who can't afford the text.
Sent Cheryl off at the airport yesterday, it doesn't seem like 3 mths ago that we flew Phuket. Time sure flies. Ah well, 3 1/2 mths will pass faster than I can say, " Exams are coming!" I dread the exams... ARgh.... It'll be so stressful after the break. Sigh. At least, the 3 mth break will be after the exams :D
Been watching House MD. It's really excellent!! Love the graphics, the plot, the characters, the case studies!!!! Hahaha. Combine Sherlock Holmes and Medicine and you'll get House MD. Greg House's sarcasm really gets me. He isn't corny funny or lame funny. He is smart funny. And amazingly, he never gets a case wrong and he only accept cases that are out of this world. E.g: Tapeworm in the brain?! It's making life sciences seem like a whole lot of fun :p

Laaazzzy to Blog.

Alright I haven't been that busy, I've been waiting for things to happen so that I can blog. Hm.. Let's see. I finally finished the horrible no good lab report only to find that I'm expected to do even more horrible no good lab reports. On the bright side, I've got lab reports to do and a school to attend! Haha. I'm just glad that also have less horrible no good lab reports to do. I pray for wisdom to understand what I'm supposed to do.
Attended my church's anniversary dinner on Friday, took many pictures with the snackies and my tablemates.Dinner overall was a racuous affair with Tim and Jon finding a new friend. :p Went home with a very weary Gail and the guys OCX, James and Kevin. Dear James gave us a lift to Bishan where we could flag a cab home as the restaurant was quite ulu. Tessesohn Rd? That was the 1st time I've heard of it.







The following day,Cheryl, Miss-I'm-turning-21 cum bestfriend, gave us a treat at Akashi!! Seriously the best Jap food I've ever tasted. The unagi sushi was the best I've ever eaten, and I mean it tastes really good since unagi isn't one of my favourites. Thanks for the sumptious treat and I'm glad you enjoyed yourself :)
Went for KTV with angie and we were busy dedicating songs to people we know because it suited them to the T. Song of the day by 五月天：别惹我 Hahaha. I really like it!! And singing those songs back from the 80s early 90s was nostalgic, it sure brought back many memories. Especially listening to the grasshoppers. Cheesy.

G for Gullible and Gluttony

It's strange that the person didn't get back to me, if they really needed blood so urgently. I guess I overreacted. Heh. Apparently, the blood bank in Singapore makes sure that they have all varieties of blood available. But, I suppose for my case I oughta create a stash of blood at a private hospital for myself or others when the need arises. Not that I'm cursing myself, but what if?? Just look at the way I cross the road, Germ always says its a miracle that I'm still alive after looking at the way I cross roads.
Been eating alot of junk this week. I've gotta recommend FRIED MARS BARS at Far East. The British take-out shop just beside Shilin. Bite sized fried chocolate with ice cream, it's heaven I tell you. MUST try!! Geez, I'm craving for it now.

Fly my aeroplane.

Met up with the co-ordinater it's confirmed that the "exchange" will be postponed till next year January. Sigh. Yup, I am disappointed and annoyed. So much for telling me that I can go and now? Then she also said that even then it'll still be subjected to changes. Factors dependent on my grades, NTU's budget, viral outbreak over there, more hurricanes, etc... Things are unpredictable. I give up!!! If God really wants me to go, He will let me go. I'll stick with that. If it's yours, it's yours.
Busy weekend, went out with Cheryl, watched "Matchpoint". Went to church, visited Matz and Mary's place. Their parents were most kind and gracious hosts, bought lots of KFC chicken for us to munch on. Then went to exchange my too small T-shirt at Bugis, then Orchard again. Monday's mind-numbing, my sleep addled brain can only take so much and I kept dozing off during my lectures. Though I hope readings will help me to catch up.
There's this 4 year old girl who needs my blood. Tried calling the contact number left on the SMS but no reply... I'm quite freaked out by the needle and pumping my blood out during blood donation, but it's someone's life. So, yup. Do the right thing Dawn!!!!

I thought I wasn't going anywhere. Haha.

Went over to Quan Ee's place for lunch yesterday and Say Ee was also there with Elizabeth and Joy. Joy my youngest cousin is already 11!! Wow. I still remember her as a baby, it didn't seem that long ago. 11 years has passed?! Woah. My aunt cooked up a storm, there was shark's fin (don't look at me animal lovers!), abalone, emperor chicken and ma po dou fu. There were 7 people present and strangely we couldn't finish the food. Think we probably were filled drinking soup. Seems like she really enjoys cooking after coming back from Vancouver. Did you have anything to do with her enthusiasm for cooking Cher? Then my aunt generously opened her bottle of Bailey's and told me to help myself. Was quite tempted to drink more, but... it's not apt to end up drunk midday isn't it? Still had another place to visit.
Went over to Auntie Poon's place. Didn't stay for long as she had alot of visitors over and even if she didn't her 4 grandsons who are aged 1-4 respectively will keep her SUPER DUPER busy. They are so CUTE!!!! Especially Zhenting. He's the oldest and the most mischievious, I wonder if his younger brother will outsmart him next time. I lament that I've got no pictures. SIgh. My mum claims that she'll replace me with Zhenting when I go over for exchange. Not that I mind Haha :D
Then off to Jac's 21st birthday bash. Stayed at her place for a few hours, ate, watched TV and played some brainless games. My reflexes took a day off and I kept losing, thankfully they haven't brought out the alcohol yet. If not, I think I'll become even slower. Took a few pictures on Charlene's camera and I think her perm looks great. Jac's place is really cozy, like her glow- in-the dark stars. Left with Candice, since I didn't really know anybody else except for Charlene who also left shortly after us.
Since it was still early, I went for an unplanned supper with Caleb who drove :) 3 cheers for the driver and the car!! Haha. Went to River Ang Bao and pigged out. Cannot fathom his obsession for genuine smelly tofu. Find the smell quite tolerable these days, probably getting used to it. But, that doesn't mean I like it. And I will NEVER EVER buy bing tang hu lu again. Everytime I watch those period dramas that candied haw seems to be such a hot fav, but it tastes bad.. Well, at least to me.
Today.. Dropped by at Pa's friend's place. Finally met Jeanine, whom my Dad kept wanting me to meet. Because she does medicine in MelbUni and can give me sound advice regarding studying medicine overseas. However, I think I'll be shelving these plans aside until God (hopefully) opens those doors. She knows my JC classmate, who is coincidentally her present classmate now. The world is so small. She burned for House MD, which is like CSI for me. Yay!! New serial to watch. I guess I can get to know her better since she's staying till May this year before heading back to MelbUni.
School starts tomorrow and report rushing starts now (Yes, now!!!). Procrastination is my middle name. Dawn P Koh.

Less bustle, less noise, more rest?

Reunion dinner and the first day of new year and not much to prepare. Not much fan fare this year, didn't buy new clothes for the new year, since I do have enough clothes and not doing much visitation either. Looking on the bright side, I've got 4 days to rest and catch up with my work, instead of running everywhere to visit relatives whom I hardly know. It's fun when my cousins are there, we have no problem entertaining ourselves or if I know someone from the family that I'm visiting. Or else, it's just stoning in front of the TV and answering questions such as... " Where are you studying now?" Though people don't ask me if I'm studying anymore, they seem to assume that I'm working. Hm... Hope that doesn't mean I look old...

This year is quiter because... CHERIE. You are not here.. Hmph. It's different without you and your family. Byron wanted to gamble and nobody was banker this year. Normally Ah Ee will be the banker and the table will be one rowdy mess because Nick or Bryon will insist they didn't lose or won. Haha. Miss you all. Chinese New Year and family gatherings won't ever be the same again. If you are reading this Cher, glad you woke up so early to meet us on the web cam!!! Haha. Your eyes look so small as usual :p Leng has the pics of our reunion dinner. Be back next year for new year?? :p

Watched "The Promise" with Jun, since my mother bought the VCD. Very lame movie... Apparently everything happened all because the girl stole the bao from the boy. Then the boy so kua zhang, he felt he cannot trust anybody for his entire life anymore all because the girl stole his bao.. Doinks. Then Jun forgot to bring her stuff home.. Woke me up from my nap today to get her stuff. So annoying. :p

Went for service today, this year's theme is Be a disciple and make disciples. Underlying fact that we have to be disciples before we can make disciples, being a disciple = discipline?? :p I'm linking everything together. Ahh.. Then Pastor Mark preached about the 3 priorities that must not overtake God. People, Possesions and Purpose. I guess I got abit restless at the end.. Was talking more than listening... Oops..

Some pics *oink*